Most who know me will not say that I am a spiritual person as I have always led a bon vivant lifestyle. Around eight years ago, I came to read the Bhagavad Gita and Vedanta literature, and they brought a lot of peace to my soul. Though my first cousin was a devotee and had recounted several
satsangs, I never turned to Guruji. In June 2019, the organization that employed me decided to exit from India. I had faith that what happens, happens for the good, but I was scared.
The next month, on 25
th July, was my mother's 80
th birthday and my closest pals came home to wish her. Suddenly I told them I wanted to visit Guruji. I do not understand how this urge came. None of us knew where Bade Mandir was, or anything about Guruji. We used online maps to reach Bade Mandir around at 2.30 in the afternoon—much earlier than the opening time of 6 pm—and were lucky that it was a Thursday. My friends and I decided to go to a mall in Vasant Kunj for coffee. I still wanted to go back at 6 and hired a radio cab. In the cab, I went to gurujimaharaj.com and read His commandments. A few spoke to my heart.
Leaving the radio cab at the T-point junction, I boarded a shuttle that takes devotees to Bade Mandir. I was not sure of any protocol, and I voiced this concern to a fellow passenger. He told me he was from Australia and asked me to follow him. I hung to him like a child. May Guruji bless His soul always. The Mandir was teeming with people in the peak of summer; the air was redolent with holy
shabads. It was a balm to my soul. I felt as safe as a child feels with his parents.
I shared my experience with two of my closest friends who had been with me for the afternoon trip to the Mandir and also told them about Guruji's commandments. We decided to go again next week, when we had
langar, too. I felt real love and affection when I sat down for langar with the Guru's
sangat. The bliss was indescribable.
Hardly ten days had passed, it was a Sunday, when a friend who is like a brother to me called me up. My friend told me he was at my condominium and I should open my door for a hug. The first thing I noticed when I saw him was that he had a pin with an image of Guruji on his shirt. I was zapped. I had known my friend for two decades and yet never knew of his connection with Guruji. I narrated what had happened. In him, I found a Guru
mitra and
bhai who answered my incessant questions about Guruji. Then I naturally got to know sangat that lived around my neighbourhood.
Now we found ourselves visiting Bade Mandir nearly every week and listening to the shabads.
Practicing Guruji's teachings of harmony and unity: एक जोत ते सब जग उपजे
I believe that I have to be worthy of Guruji's blessings, so I decided to work upon myself. I started keeping a log detailing my no-ABC (don't abuse, blame or curse) days. I promised to myself that I would work on reducing my ego (haumein) and anger (krodh). Rather naïvely perhaps, but I felt that I should work on these two first and then turn to lust and greed. Trust me it is easier said than done, but I have noticed small improvements. Hearing each of His shabads, reading
satsangs, and going back to His commandments has helped me stay focused. During the Corona-induced lockdown, I had the great opportunity to listen to a playlist of around forty shabads shared by the sangat. Some shabads had
vyakhya (explanations), which cleared my doubts.
Recently I had a first-hand experience of the practicing the teachings and realizing their fruit.
I got into an argument with a person walking without a mask, flouting regulations. He slapped and abused me. To my surprise, I neither hit back nor responded verbally. My initial thought was to call the cops and let this person face the music. Unbidden, Guruji's sacred teaching of
sarbat da bhala came to mind. May all be blessed. With some remorse, I knew that I had to stick to it. I prayed to Guruji that He should bless us all, including the chap who had slapped me. I mentally addressed Guruji and told Him I was sorry for harboring vengeful thoughts.
Trust me, this is not me. Earlier I would have gone to the extent of paying for a lawyer to teach the offender a lesson for life. Though angry and vengeful thoughts did come, along with them came the reminder that I had to follow Guruji's ABC. I slept well, knowing that I was learning to move on His ordained path. Hadn't He taught us that we all come from the same source? एक जोत ते सब जग उपजे! Slowly the ego has begun realizing this truth. I am not there yet, but am moving along.
It's just been one year into my journey with Him and mental peace has come to me. In surrendering to Him, no task of mine or my guru friends' has been stuck. He showers His blessings each day. I will be demeaning Him by trying to make a manifest of all He does to guide me, and many like me. He is magnanimous just as all the parables of Lord Shiva have it. He is the all munificent Lord (बेअंत स्वामी). My morning prayer is that He blesses me with His service and His remembrance and that I welcome each moment with gratitude. I know He will not allow bad karma to harm us. (औखी घड़ी न देखन देयीं) I pray to Him to make me a better human being worthy of His blessings always and remain His blessed follower.
Ajay Shyam Budhiraja, a devotee
May 2020