I first came to Guruji in February 2018, when I attended a
satsang at my partner's place. I was clueless and knew nothing about Guruji, but it turned out to be an overwhelming experience. I basked in the atmosphere, which was akin to that of being in a gurudwara, and felt at peace.
I began attending satsangs regularly, which were held at my partner's home every month. I got a locket and two
swaroops of Guruji, one of which I kept by my bedside. Some nights I'd get a rosy fragrance from the swaroop. I hadn't really established my link with Guruji at that point in time, but I used to find everything related to Him very peaceful. My parents felt the same. When I went to the Bade Mandir with my parents the first time, they liked the atmosphere and remarked on how everything was so well organized. Soon my partner and I began visiting the Mandir regularly every Monday.
I began looking forward to these trips and loved going to the Mandir. All my negative thoughts would fade away and all the world's problems would end at His feet. I have always had a hard time coping with my mental well-being. I tended to overthink and be very negative and that overpowered my mind. I used to cry everyday and have problems sleeping at night. I couldn't understand what had taken over me and—no matter what I did—nothing made me happy. I felt anxious and depressed, inadequate and helpless. I gave up upon myself. One day I sat in front of Guruji's swaroop and told Him to "either fix me or take me away from the world".
My extremely negative outlook began affecting my loved ones. My partner and I broke off our relationship as he had begun to suffer, too. The ground beneath my feet gave away. I was so angry and hurt. I felt Guruji had not accepted me as His follower and had taken away the sole person who was my biggest support.
But this was a turning point. I decided I was not going to sit and cry and that I had to get better mentally.
I felt isolated, but I knew Guruji was with me. First, I apologized to Him for being angry. Then I did everything I could to build my connection with Guruji: I listened to
shabads, heard satsangs on the internet, and woke up at the
amrit vela to offer prayers to Him. I would sit for hours together talking to Guruji's swaroop. Many times I got answers from Guruji through satsangs. I also found the inner strength to face my partner. I would never have the courage to do so if it wasn't for Guruji. I realized my Guru had put me in difficult situations only to make me stronger.
I visited the Mandir as often as I could with my parents. I used to always ask Guruji to guide me and make me understand what was happening and He did. I would get dreams where I would see my partner and I were reconciling. Every dream was somehow related to Guruji. I also dreamt that my partner and I visited the Mandir, where shabads were playing in the background. These dreams were improbable as regards coming true, because my partner and I were not even on talking terms. Nonetheless, they reassured me that Guruji knew about my problems.
Due to the extreme stress, my health deteriorated and I could not even stomach half a
chapatti during a meal. I lost five kilos, but I made sure that I visited the Mandir and partake of the divine
langar every time. My parents wanted me to get an endoscopy, but with His grace that plan was dropped. Slowly I regained my appetite. Slowly I become confident and my perspective towards life changed. My partner and I also got back together—as Guruji's visions had foretold. Guruji had guided me in His own way.
Now both of us visit the Mandir together and my heart fills up with gratitude for Him. He has given me much love and has never let me suffer alone. Even when no one was with me, my Guru was present, guiding me through every difficult stage and giving me the strength to face up to hardships.
All I had to do was have faith in Him and trust Him with everything. Whatever He does He always has something good for us in mind. Talk to Him, tell Him everything without any fear. Guruji is my best friend and my father as well as the ultimate power. If things are not going right, trust me He has better plans for you, and sooner or later, He will get you out of every tough situation. Just immerse yourself in Him, chant His
mantra and have faith. He puts us through a lot of tests only to make us stronger. We are His children and He is our father.
[Following section added August 2021]
Faith in Guruji, love for people propels us on Guruji's path
I had thought that I would write this satsang later, but find myself penning down the recent blessings I received from Guruji. It reinforces that it is His planning and His timing that prevails. Our planning falls short in front of His perfectly timed blessings.
Year 2020 was an extremely difficult time. My faith was tested time and again, and I am unsure whether I passed a single test of His. But He never fails to show His support either through dream
darshans, signs, or through satsangs. As the Sri Guru Granth Sahib says, "
Sabh kichh ghar meh baahar nahee, baahar tolai so bharam bhulaahee." (Everything is within the home of the self; there is nothing beyond, one who searches outside is deluded by doubt).
This maxim is so apt today when devotees' access to the Bade Mandir and to in-person satsangs is limited due to the coronavirus. Yet our blessings have multiplied, our connection has deepened, and faith has become stronger—all within the four walls of our rooms. Because Guruji resides in our heart and mind, we just need to look deeper within and connect with Him. Guruji always stressed that He is a practical Guru, and we are now taking the practical route to connect with Him. With the outside world locked down and no houses of worship open, He has taught us to look for Him within ourselves, inside our homes.
Taking care of my future
I was at a crossroads after graduation. Should I look for a job or continue my higher studies? I was interested in pursuing a Masters, but the application and selection process for universities was hard and required months of preparation. I got selected for another academic program, but the campus was located unfavourably. I cancelled my enrollment and on that very day came across an interesting MBA course. Surprisingly, it had all the humanities subjects that interested me and a 100 percent placement policy. The campus too was located close to the Mandir. It felt like Guruji had customized the course just for me! Guruji assured me that the course was meant for me through various signs: For example, the joining date was the 7
th; before entering the campus hostel I saw a few cars with the "Guruji" sticker; and I had Mondays off, which meant I could easily go to the Mandir in the morning.
I applied for the course, and later also made a good set of friends, and Guruji helped me sail through the difficult MBA subjects. Without Him I wouldn't even have managed to get a passing grade.
Everything was going well when the pandemic struck and our classes moved online. We had to leave the hostel as well, which meant going away from the Mandir as I was not a local resident. I did not let distance deter my connection with Guruji. He motivated me to do satsang at home. These satsangs acted like a soothing balm to every scare that was out there.
Getting me placed and sustaining my job
The next hurdle in my path was getting a good job, even though our college had assured us that they would ensure all students got placed in companies. But the pandemic meant companies were hiring fewer people, which meant students had to work very hard to get noticed during the selection process. I was not sure if I would stand a chance of getting into a good company with the job profile I wanted. Guruji helped me.
I used to prepare for interviews in front of His swaroop, which acted like a confidence booster. During my interviews, I would keep His swaroop next to me and just surrender to Him. I knew that He would lead me to the place that was best fit for me. The placement process was very stressful, but His presence reassured me that He would take care of me, and He did.
A company interested me. After a tough written test and interview, where I stumbled, I was not confident about getting in. But I made it through. I didn't deserve this, I felt, but Guruji helped me.
I was a fresher and excited to start. A few weeks into the job, the long work hours and the high pressure stressed me. My role involved dealing with numbers and data analysis, something I utterly detested. I felt like a misfit. After a few months I did not want to go on. I discussed with my friends and family and made up my mind to leave even though I valued my financial independence and didn't have enough work experience. I took a giant leap and left my future in Guruji's hands.
I was serving my one-week notice period when during a day off, I read a lot of satsangs on the internet about devotees experiencing similar situations at work. There was one satsang which struck me particularly: The devotee did not like his present job, and a few days after resigning he got a position that he was interested in. I knew Guruji was indicating this route to me, and became confident that Guruji had a plan in mind for me.
I was talking to my HR person on a Monday when she offered me another position within the same company. The new role was something I had always been keen on, but had never gotten an opportunity for. Human resources pointed out that the salary was going to be lesser than earlier. That did not matter as much because this was just the start of my career, and I valued having a decent amount of work experience rather than a high salary. I was happy I was getting the role of my choice without having to sit through another interview or test.
Then HR called to tell me that senior staff had decided to offer me the salary I was drawing in my previous role. Just goes to show that Guruji is very generous with His blessings at the timing of His choice. My family too was surprised to see how quickly Guruji had fashioned this miracle.
I do face difficulties in my new role, but Guruji always comes to my rescue. He looks after every small thing. At times while proof-reading certain materials, I open a document and end up realizing that I had missed a point earlier or misplaced an important piece of information. While frantically searching for it among a lot of other documents, I instantly find it in the first document that I click on! The mind might consider this a lucky coincidence, but it's Guruji guiding my actions.
Blessing my family and beyond
No matter what the problem, once Guruji takes you in His fold our problems become His to resolve. He is there to look after us. I was always concerned that my family did not connect with Guruji even though they had attended satsangs and visited the Mandir. During the pandemic they found comfort in Guruji. Today my extended family has started to realize and feel His divinity and are now His
sangat.
Guruji even fixes relationships and keeps devotees in the company of right people. He protects devotees from the evils of the world. Due to the pandemic, my partner and I were forced to live in different cities. However, Guruji kept our relationship strong and guided both of us so that distance did not come in the way of our relationship.
Ever since I've been connected to Guruji, I've learnt a few important navigation lessons from Him:
1. Make peace with uncertainty. Know that happy and sad times are temporary. The sole permanency is your relationship with Guruji. The only certain aspect of this life is your connection with Guru Saheb. Nurture it every day.
2. Always remain humble, and correct yourself when you are wrong. We can call ourselves Guruji's children only when we keep ourselves rooted and not indulge in pride or vanity. Our ego has to be set aside.
3. Be kind. We all have difficult relationships with certain people. Think of these people as Guruji's children, and avoid thinking negatively or being aggressive with them, since that would indirectly hurt Guruji. Talk respectfully or just ignore them. Let Guruji take over and handle it.
4. Never think that Guruji has abandoned you! He never will. It is our faith that gets shaken up in difficulties not His love. I too am guilty of feeling this way, but whenever you do, feed your faith a lot more. When a plant is about to dry up, we put in extra effort to take care of it and keep it healthy. Similarly, put in an extra effort in your relationship with Guruji.
5. He will give you courage to do things that you could never imagine you had the capacity to do. Just keep Him in your heart at all times and love Him wholeheartedly. Accept what comes your way and leave the master to do the rest.
6. In case, you are feeling lost always listen to the Gurbani. You will find a message for yourself in the shabads. Remember that it's called
Guru ki Bani for a reason. It's Guru Saheb's message for us!
May Guruji bless us with more faith and love for humanity. To fulfill our duty towards our parents and family, our partners and towards Him is the little we can give to Him. Every day is a lesson in faith, and I pray that we as His sangat learn and improve each day to become better human beings.
[Following section added January 2023]
Light on the path: Cultivate connection, avoid doubt, and have faith
If a hundred moons were to rise, and a thousand suns appeared,
Even with such light, there would still be pitch darkness without the Guru.
- Guru Angad Dev
Not all satsangs are around materialistic happiness; some may contain a narrative of difficult experiences, but they are gems for one's spiritual growth. A couplet from Guru Tegh Bahadurji Salok mahalla 9, has helped me understand the value of earning pain for spiritual growth:
jatan bahut sukh ke kee dukh ko keeo na koe
People make all sorts of efforts for happiness, but no one tries to earn pain.
So my satsang is a lesson in faith, a lesson to help us go through difficulties.
Towards the end of 2022, I faced my most heartbreaking and difficult moment and the gloom carried forward to the new year. My attitude became negative, my mental well-being plumbed, and though Guruji showed me visions of a positive end, my fears kept overpowering my faith. I always engaged in mental conversation with Guruji, but it was linked more to thoughts such as, "Why me? What did I do wrong? Why are you making me suffer like this?" I was not praying or meditating but expecting an instant answer from Guruji.
A few days ago this negativity nearly did me in. I again resorted to a mental conversation with Guruji. My angry self did not realize that despite these difficulties I was still being protected by Maharaj and I was still receiving His blessings. Hence, I failed to acknowledge them. One night I told Guruji that I still had a deep sense of love and respect towards Him but maybe His share of blessings was not for me.
The following day, a Sunday, I came across devotee Anita Kumar's book "The Divine Light". Though I had read the book earlier, each page felt like it was speaking to me. One chapter where Guruji telepathically scolds the devotee spoke out to me and my predicament:
"Guruji then spoke to me telepathically and my interpretation goes something like this . . . when a drastic change comes about in your life it is an indication for you to change. Firstly, you complain endlessly and then, you don't do as I ask you to. Being good is not enough as you need to do good too! It's the entire gamut of faith that counts. My word is law, but you always try and break it with your ego! Your questions are many, but have you tried to seek a single answer? No! And that is because like most, you are far too busy, asking, brooding, commenting, doubting, evaluating and fussing and grumbling, the a-b-c-d-e-f-g! You are a happiness-is-for-others-and-struggles-are-for-me kind of person! You do not read the Shiv Puran as I had instructed. You do not sit and meditate, again as I had suggested. You are full of don'ts and you expect only the dos from me! This wake-me-up-every-time-I-lose-faith call will not come again, so learn once and for all. Ask for the real deal before it is too late. Connect to my name and the rest will come at the right time, space and sequence. Go home and change your attitude the way you change your clothes. The shift will take place once you make the necessary change."
It was my wake-up call, and the sentence "
Change your attitude the way you change your clothes" struck home. For the past few months, all I had done was brood and complain. I did not strive to seek answers or connect with Guruji. I did not sit down with Him for five minutes. And though I accepted circumstances to be as per Guruji's divine will, I did not make enough of an effort to go deeper and seek support from Him. Instead, I expected instant relief. I picked myself up and began to rekindle and cement my faith. Slowly, I began to feel signs of His presence. Recently during meditation, I kept getting a message from within to share my recent satsangs, though I felt that a particular event for which I would share a satsang had not unfolded yet. I kept getting subtle indications, and finally took it as Maharaj's command.
Blessed with a trip to Mumbai
In January, Guruji blessed me with a work-related trip to Mumbai. Since I was mentally quite distressed, I had given in to passivity. I prayed to Guruji Maharaj to cancel the trip. However, Guruji had different plans. As I journeyed to the airport, I cried and complained about not having the strength to carry forward. I am also a nervous flyer and this was the first time I was flying without my parents. At the airport, the check-in and security processes went seamlessly. Even then I was unsure about how the trip would turn out. Upon reaching Mumbai, I asked Maharaj for a sign to indicate His presence. At the hotel, I got allotted to room number 106 – the numerals adding up to His 7— a sure sign.
My best friend also works in Mumbai, and due to Guruji's grace, I got to spend time with her. She took a colleague and me for sight-seeing, and I was lucky to have a childhood dream fulfilled: Getting a photo outside Shah Rukh Khan's house. These little moments filled me with gratitude, and I was genuinely happy, and did not have to fake my laughter or my smile. Guruji ensured that I had a good time throughout.
Surrender leads to stepping into Guruji's Durbar
Returning from Mumbai I stepped back into reality, to all the difficulties I was still facing. After reading Anita Kumar's book I had promised to change my attitude. But heading to work on the metro on the first day of the week, I told Maharaj I had no strength to deal with office work, and I was going to surrender the day to Him however He planned it.
At office, the work overload broke me down. My manager suggested I head back home and take some time off. Returning, I realized it was a Monday and Bade Mandir would be open. I decided to go. I had never had the courage to go to the Mandir alone, as I found certain pockets at the Chattarpur area unsafe. That day, I did not even have sufficient money for the trip—but I left it on Guruji. As I made my way out of the Chattarpur metro station, I found an auto. At the Mandir, the driver told me he'd wait and drop me back to the station. I enjoyed my time in the Mandir, relished the
prasad and tea and thanked Guruji for making me come to Him. It was His call as I had no plans of going alone to the Mandir. I always depended on people to take me there and it was very reassuring when the auto driver dropped me safely back to the metro station. The trip to the Mandir cost me exactly the amount I had in my wallet. My surrender to Him led me straight to His doorway of heaven, a place I call my home.
Each difficult experience is a satsang in process; a recountal of the faith that things will fall in place according to Guruji's perfect timing. Let us seek strength from our experiences, avoid doubt and cultivate faith. Guruji takes care of us in the minutest of ways, but we also have to make an effort from our end. One cannot sit and expect blessings and miracles. Devotees must nurture their connection with Him and trust to His divine plan; cultivate perseverance and patience while we are on this journey of faith. Bow to Him, pray to him, strengthen your relationship with Him and blessings would flow as per His will and command.
He is the ultimate master. Seek and you will receive. Love him dearly: There will be times when your partners, spouses, and parents will leave your side, but Guruji will always be there. I am a testament to this. At times I have no one by my side. In this complete darkness of the materialistic world, my Guru alone shows me the light.
A devotee
January 2023