Life had been a series of setbacks for me. I had countless problems on the domestic front, and, professionally, I could not pursue a career in medicine. I also found myself unable and unwilling to change my field. In the midst of turmoil, out of no apparent bidding, I began listening to the verses of the
Sukhmani Sahib.
It was 2013, and it marked the year He took over and held my hand. Yet though I was told of Guruji, at numerous occasions and through countless people, I didn't think He was calling me. However, in December 2015, I went to a
satsang, out of deference to a social obligation. We reached the venue when the satsang was set to end, and I am not sure now if I even heard the
shabads. I did eat the
langar, and again didn't think much of it.
Two months later, in February 2016, I found myself calling up the local
sangat to check on any upcoming satsang. I was not sure what made me do that. Thereafter, I would try to make it to the Thursday satsangs. I would sit, with tears rolling down my face, just expecting Him to make things right. Needless to say, I found the satsangs rejuvenating. I would go back to the satsangs to feel better and get charged for another week.
My faith has grown manifold since, and not only because He set everything right. Guruji did bless me in countless ways, His presence being the biggest and most precious of these blessings. He has made me stronger in the face of challenges, by reassuring me of His presence and renewing my faith through satsangs and shabads. I should confess that I am still not consistent with being able to meditate or avoid bad mouthing. However, I try, every day, and catch myself from repeating the mistakes.
I came to Guruji for material gains, but He blessed me with Himself. As life unfolds, not only am I realizing that being connected to Guruji, following His teachings, and attending satsangs, are His most valued blessings, but also, an incessant reaffirmation that He will do the rest. Everything is happening the way He has planned and with my best interest at heart.
I now have a job, not what I aspired to get, but a better one. One specially created for me, keeping my qualification and convenience in mind. To this day, I feel underqualified but graced by Him. I do not think that I can even articulate my gratitude with one
Shukrana. Guruji has given me numerous reasons to be thankful. I pray to be able to accept Guruji's will and be deserving of a place at His holy feet.
Je tu naa farda baah assa rul jaana si
saanu kidde na milti thaan assa mar jaana si
Had you not held my hand I would have been lost
Had I not found Your refuge I would have died
Anuradha Aneja, devotee, Los Angeles, California
June 2020