I got married in 2016, and my life was thrown into turmoil. My relationship with my husband did not really take off and went from bad to worse. On top of it, I had a miscarriage, after which I began to remain unhealthy. I had severe pain in my body, and could not manage without having up to five painkillers daily. I went to astrologers, pundits, and temples but found no relief in body or peace of mind.
By 2017 things had reached such a pass that I was going through the internet for videos on how to commit suicide. One afternoon I saw a YouTube video of Siddharth Mohan singing a devotional song of Guruji. I saw Guruji walking and looking at me, though in reality he wasn't walking; the video was using a
swaroop of His from the Empire Estate Mandir.
Next, my paternal aunt (bua) told my mother to take me to Guruji's Bade Mandir. She believed that if I had
langar prasad five times, I would be fine. I asked my husband and he agreed immediately though he was an atheist.
The Mandir cast a spell on me. Not only did I go for the first five times, I began going to the Mandir every week, driving the forty-five kilometre distance by myself, even as I remained on pain medicines. Once inside the Mandir, I would begin to cry. Soon I came to know of a lady devotee who lived near my house and began going with her to the Mandir. Thereafter, I was blessed to be given
sewa in Guruji's kitchen on the Saturday of every week. My pain dosage came down from four tablets to one.
Even though my health had bettered and my devotion had developed, doctors advised me to undergo a third operation. Guruji, who is my Gurupa, came in my dream. He was sitting on a sofa in a drawing room, attired in a yellow
chola, teaching me something from a book. The vision came on a Friday. The day after my travelling companion gave me a book of Guruji's
satsangs. Guruji was on the front cover, wearing a yellow chola. I didn't get the hint. I returned the book saying that it was in Hindi and that I wanted an English version. I was such a fool. Guruji wanted me to read those satsangs so that my belief in Him grew strong.
I went for the operation. But my pain worsened after it. I realized that Guruji hadn't wanted me to go for my third operation and the satsang book could have been a way to heal me without it. But Guruji is very sweet. Soon He guided me to a homeopathic doctor, whose medicines gave me relief from my pain. Today, I don't take any painkillers.
My marital relationship had faltered. Guruji alone knew what was behind the rift. My in-laws had promised me that they would change the house my husband's family lived in as soon as we got married. That didn't happen, and it upset me. Guruji knew of my heart's longing and He addressed it: I saw Guruji in a vision as I slept. He was wearing a black-and-white chola, sitting on a chair and He blessed me with a house. Soon I had moved into a beautiful new home.
He blessed me with another
darshan, and that fully healed my marriage. I saw Guruji sitting on a huge chair like a Maharaja, dressed in a red-and-black chola with the
sangat sitting below and around Him. I was standing very far from Him, looking on. He signalled me to come closer; I went forward and immediately touched His feet. At that point, my eyes opened, and I saw my husband sitting next to me, hugging me and telling me not to worry. That He loves me and everything will be fine soon. So it was.
He is Lord Shiva—yes, but God is One
A third darshan of Guruji had Him come to me as Lord Shiva. He was immensely tall, holding the
trishul in a hand and the moon sat on His long matted hair. Snakes were gathered below His legs. I could only stare at Him—Guruji is Lord Shiva.
I was in such good health that I could resume going to work again. Of course, Guruji's love spilled over and I was soon telling my colleagues about Him. One of them confided that she believed in Sai Baba. I spoke to her of my conviction that Guruji was the one and only God and, in fact, Lord Shiva. Guruji turned this instance into a learning opportunity. The day after, as is my habit, I went into my home mandir as soon as I woke up to thank Guruji. His swaroop was transformed: Guruji had curly hair on His head and looked like Sai Baba. I thought, He is Sai Baba. Next He gave me darshan in Guru Nanak Devji's swaroop. I understood that He was telling me that all are one. Since then I have never tried to convince anyone of my beliefs.
I wanted to invite Guruji to my home on my birthday, the 2
nd of September. I began requesting Guruji to come home in August. I got a message saying that He will come and that I should start preparations for a satsang. Indeed, on the early morning of 2
nd September, I had His darshan: He was wearing a white chola, appeared tall, and stood next to my bed. I hugged Him tightly. And in the evening, the satsang wreathed all of us in grace, happiness and beauty. Guruji had given me the best birthday and the best gift of my life. His darshan is heavenly and always brings His unlimited blessings to us when we most need them. "
Kuch bahut vadi musibat ayi si," Guruji told me, "
mai taal diti." (I have saved you from grave peril.)
I know it's all Guruji's blessings. He loves His sangat so much. I love you, Guruji, and can never thank you enough.
Isha Kathuria, a devotee
May 2021