My friend and I have been to many spiritual camps, or shivirs, in search of a true guru, and in relation to my sister's problem. None satisfied us. Everywhere money was in ascendance. Old, retired people would be queuing up to attend a shivir with money in hand, because that was the price of admission. They were willing to give their entire savings to the spiritual teacher who they hoped would resolve their anxieties and difficulties. Those who took initiation, or diksha, from their guru also paid for it; they did not get it because of their guru bhakti.
Spiritual teachers said they needed the money for charity. However, their personal accounts ran into millions. In fact, devotees talked of how spiritual teachers advised them to attend as many shivirs as possible to receive benefits. My friend and I always thought that this was business, not spirituality. I wondered how people who did not have any money would reach a guru and resolve their karmas.
We were trying to seek relief for my younger sister. She would cry all of a sudden with fear and start screaming. She could have been sitting or been awake at night. When we would ask her what happened, she would reply that she didn't remember. She worked in a hospital and when she consulted doctors they said her blood may not be circulating properly. They gave medicines, but these did not help.
Then, my uncle told us about Guruji and asked us to visit Bade Mandir. My friend and I discussed the matter. We were hesitant because of our earlier experiences. We had seen that most people's belief was based on external influence not on conviction of their own heart. Also, at shivirs spirituality and guru bhakti were being sold for money.
However, my friend decided that when we had visited so many gurudwaras and mandirs for my sister we might as well give it a shot. I went to Bade Mandir and the kind of peace I felt was awesome. Something is very magical in the air of Bade Mandir which holds you there and connects you naturally with the supreme power. My sister too is okay after having langar prasad.
As my trust built up, I began going to Bade Mandir regularly. I felt at peace, but still had doubts in a corner of my heart. Devotees said they had felt Guruji's presence in terms of Om, His rose aroma and then even his physical darshan. I wondered why I was not getting such feelers.
Guru kripa again fulfilled my wish. Recently, I have been seeing an Om on all of my chapattis while one chapatti even had an Om with a Shivling. I have seen an Om on the palm of my left hand. It is clear to me that even today there are true gurus who are with their devotees always. Guruji has answered all my questions. Guruji, I love you very much and thank you for everything which you gave and will give to me. Jai Guruji!
Om Namah Shivaya Shivji Sada Sahaya. Om Namah Shivaya Guruji Sada Sahaya.
October 2013