I came to know about Guruji through my mom in 2021. She told me that there is a mandir in Delhi where you had to finish all the
langar that came on your plate and drink the last drop of
chai. I did not give it much heed. As devotees say, He calls you when the time comes.
Mine came in 2022, when I was going through a very difficult phase. My father was quite unwell. He had stopped talking on the phone was in bed most of the time. He had always been an active person, and I could not bear to see him in this state. Neither could I look at my mother's worried face. My relationship with my husband was not going well either. We were fighting every other day as if there was no affection between him and me. We have a young kid at home, and I was very anxious that he was growing up in a troubled environment.
There was so much negativity around me that I couldn't think positively even if I wanted to. Even if I got a moment of happiness, I was scared to be happy at that moment.
I remember the days when I would be crying alone at home with no one to talk to. I used to fight with my husband and then sit in front of Mata Rani and cry for help. During the last Navratri of 2024, I would cry during
pooja every day. I remember, on
Ashtami, I cried while chanting
Durga Chalisa. I had never chanted Durga Chalisa so loudly and in front of so many people. But I had prayed from the bottom of my heart as a very desperate cry for help.
I don't remember when, but I began listening to
satsangs. With each satsang, I would get teary-eyed and would later wonder at my crying. Later, I learnt that each satsang was purifying me. Slowly, with Guruji's grace, my husband and I began developing a connection with Guruji. Things got better as days went by. My father's health too improved and that eased my mind.
Before Guruji calls you, He prepares the way. In my instance, I had been looking for solace through different spiritual paths. I came across Buddhist chanting, which I tried but it never resonated with me. My practice was always discontinued due to something or the other. Then I came across a book, The Magic, that teaches about gratitude. I followed its 28-day practice, which helped. My next step was to follow a self-help coach. The coach had a meditation workshop where she made the audience meditate on
Gurbani verses "
Aad guruye namah" and "
Ek onkar satguru prasad". It was a form of Kundalini yoga practice. However, that too did not continue for long. After all, I was destined to follow Guruji's path.
Interspersed with these practices, I had also started to listen to a few satsangs, but was not into them too much. But when you are going through troubled phases in life, you deepen your link with God and spirituality. I had heard in satsangs that when God is happy with your devotion, you are blessed with a Guru. And that is so! Since Guruji's advent, positivity has come into my life. Things are becoming better and better.
Guruji gave me answers to my queries. I knew of a fellow devotee who did Buddhist chanting, and my first question was why I should not continue with it. I got the answer when I heard the satsang of a lady devotee who had done Buddhist chanting. It so happened that the leader of her chanting group came to take back the gohonzon (a scroll or statuary used as an object of meditation in Japanese Buddhism), and she asked why the devotee had stopped chanting. She answered that she was following Guruji. Whereupon the leader said that she knew about Guruji, but it was not her spiritual path to follow Him. When I heard that, I knew Guruji was my path. And that was why I needed to stop chanting.
Guruji grants me swaroop and sewa
We had started going to satsangs, and I wanted to have Guruji's
swaroop in my home. It is an article of faith that you don't buy a swaroop–it is after all not an article of material gain–and that Guruji comes to you when it is His will. During a satsang I saw a lady devotee carrying big swaroops. I was eager to ask her for a swaroop. I wanted to stop myself, but couldn't. She promised that when I came to the next satsang, she would get one for me. I might not be coming to the next satsang, I told her, and got her phone number so I could message her about my attendance.
As I took
agya from Guruji in front of His
durbar, I mentally told Him that it might not be His will to come to my house that day or the next time. Just then someone tapped my shoulder. It was that very devotee–and she handed me a swaroop! I just broke down. Guruji is so kind. I am always grateful to Him.
At another small satsang that I attended while I had just connected with Guruji, I very much wanted to do roti and
dal prasad sewa. The person in charge agreed to my request, but I was only given
roti prasad sewa. I noted that there were no takers for dal prasad sewa, so I kept asking this person if I could take that, too. However, he did not reply. I prayed to Guruji for guidance. That day I heard a satsang where one lady was doing satsang at her place and another lady requested her to give her langar sewa. She was asked to make 15 to 20 rotis. This was the exact number I had been asked to make for the satsang!
Guruji is teaching me through His satsangs, the Gurbani, or through putting me in different situations. I know that everyone has a direct connection with Guruji, so each journey will be different. Yet no Shukrana can ever repay His grace. Please be with me and my family always, Guruji
Shukrana, Guruji, for holding my hand;
Shukrana, Guruji, for coming into my home;
Shukrana, Guruji, for giving me sewa and enabling me to do it;
Shukrana, Guruji, for enabling me to attend your satsang;
Shukrana, Guruji, for keeping us under your protection;
Shukrana, Guruji, for everything you have given me
Niyati Wadehra, a devotee
November 2024