I dreamt about Guruji sending a letter to me that was stuffed inside three envelopes. It was a hand-written letter saying that He and I have a very deep connection, that I will get everything I desire and that I should not worry but keep faith in Him. The letter had details about me which I couldn't decipher. I said 'Jai Guruji' and woke up at 3.50 am. I had this vision on 21 September 2018.
Nearly a month later, my mom fractured her ankle. She asked me to do
pooja and put flowers on the deity. The flowers were laced together in two strings and they dropped off the face of
Mata Rani (Queen Mother Goddess) and fell on top of the Shivalinga. We felt Guruji had blessed us.
The next year I witnessed droplets of Amrit on Guruji's
charan, on 24
th January 2019 at a devotee's
satsang. I got to eat sweets the whole day, the
kunafa, a delicious Arabic sweet,
gulab jamuns, halwa and
kheer.
That February, my mom was driving the family car and set the audio to hear some specific
shabad. However much she tried, the audio would only play the music of Guruji's band. The next morning I had a vision of Guruji asking me send the invites again for a satsang at our house and ask for confirmations. I again saw His visage, in front and side profile, during a satsang next month.
One morning in March, between 1 am and 2 am, I saw Guruji, dressed in a white
chola, taking my mom, my maternal aunt, me and some ladies for
paath. He gave us sweets and spent time with us, talking to us all. Then on Mahasamadhi day, I was at a satsang in a devotee's house and again had Guruji's vision: His eyes were closed and He was smiling.
Darshans as beautiful as butterflies
I vividly remember one particular Monday of March, because it came with a swarm of butterflies: Guruji indicating His presence. Two days later, on March 23, I got Guruji's bracelet and a lighted
jyot from a devotee.
In June and July, I had many
darshans, too. I had listened to shabads during
amrit vela, after which I dreamt of asking my mom if she made tea for Guruji, with cinnamon in it. I woke up and made tea for Guruji with cinnamon. Then during an early morning (amrit vela) satsang I saw an Aum manifest itself. A fortnight later, we gratefully received two pink and yellow
swaroops and some charan swaroops of Guruji, sent to Kuwait from Delhi.
I saw Guru Nanakji too in my dream. I was in a college, hanging out with friends, when someone knocked at my door. Guru Nanakji was standing in front and warned me to be careful: "
Sambhal ke chal maine tujhe aadhe ghante pehle bacha liya hai." I woke up overwhelmed.
Five days later that July, I had to be admitted to hospital, where a CT scan showed a mass in the uterus. The next day I had a major operation for removal of the fibroid mass. I was in the OT when the Guru Purnima function started and was placed in ward 7, with bed number 2, meaning, I thought to myself,
sat do (be with me).
As I sat listening to my amrit vela playlist, only
ek onkar, anand paaya meri maaye satguru mein paaya (my favourite), and the
mantra jaap played. No other shabad came up. While listening I felt someone touching my toe in a comforting way. While recuperating I also listened to satsangs on YouTube and felt someone pressing my fingers. A month after my surgery, in August, my biopsy results came back clear. In November, before a follow-up appointment with my doctor, Guruji again gave me an indication of His presence. I sighted a butterfly sitting on the mirror in the bathroom of our apartment. Needless to say, my ultrasound and hormone tests came out clear. (The butterfly is a definite symbol of Guruji's presence. Once after I had muted the TV, I took a little nap and woke up to see the screen frozen with the image of a black butterfly.)
No words can describe all the kripa Guruji bestows on us.
Then Guruji gave me His divine darshans. In a vision, I had just returned from being somewhere to find Guruji sitting in a room. He asked me how it felt going 'there'; and I said it was great. Guruji was sitting and smiling and His chest had the sign of the trishul.
Another time, I had done a paath of the
Sunder Kand and saw Guruji's image on His Lotus feet. I had a similar darshan of His visage during the Diwali satsang at a devotee's house; it marked the occasion of our completing two years in our Dubai apartment.
Since July 2019 I had taken up an online course in investment foundations. There were practice questions and two mock exams at the end of the course. I cleared both the mock exams in my second attempt. The finals could be cleared in any of two attempts, but if both attempts led to failure, I'd have to reregister and start all over again. Before the finals on 4
th September 2019, I prayed to Guruji that I pass in the very first attempt. The questions were tough and far more difficult than the mock exams. After answering the hundred questions, I clicked submit and the screen said: "Congratulations you have passed the exam, collect your online certificate and badge in few minutes." It was only due to Guruji's grace that I had cleared the exam.
Guruji and Gauri Ma in the Himalayas
My mom had been searching for a swaroop of Guruji sent by a devotee from India, but was not able to recollect where she had kept it. I prayed to Guruji to indicate the whereabouts of the swaroop. The thought flashed through my mind that I should look for it in the mandir room — and there it was!
Then, on my birthday, as I was preparing tea for Guruji, I asked Him to bless me and always be with me. I was doing mantra jaap as I made the tea and before it came to a boil, I saw Aum on it. After I had poured in the milk (and whilst still doing the jaap) I again saw an Aum. Later I sat for mantra jaap in front of Guruji's swaroop. After applying
tikka, I saw a myriad Aum appear slowly in all of Guruji's swaroops as His blessings.
Towards the last week of the year, I got His rose fragrance in the car as I drove to office while listening to Guruji's shabad.
New Year 2020 began with Guruji taking care of a major health problem. I had gone to a devotee's satsang when I felt discomfort in the abdomen. I had had no periods for two months, but now they began again — without any medication.
Towards the middle of January, I got a message that I should do mantra jaap, following which Guruji would come to my house. On Lohri day, I got a bracelet of Guruji.
On Jan 17, I dreamt that mom and I were sitting on a sofa at someone's place when Guruji came and sat with us. I see Him and feel Him. I tell Mom "
Guruji aa gaye" and we both smile happily. I ask Guruji, "
Aap kaise hain" and He replies with "
Ekdum vadiya". He then tells me: "
Apna shav kabhi nahi dekhna chahiye rooh ko taqleef hoti hai." (You should never see your own corpse because it brings discomfort to the soul. I have also understood this to mean that we shouldn't be sad at people's demise, because our sadness can affect their souls.) Then the dream changes. Guruji, my mom and I are in a mountainous region covered fully with snow. We are walking behind Him and He tells us that He and Gauri Ma often come to this place for their walk. We keep behind Him and I say to Guruji: "
Aap sab ko bless kardo sab ka kalyan kardo," and He says, "
Ja Kita". He then disappeared and I wake up. The entirety of my prayer is that Guruji always keep us in His refuge, forgives us for all the wrongs we do knowingly and unknowingly, and does what He feels is best for us.
[Following section added July 2020]
A diary of devotion: Exclamations of His presence
A devotee writes down all the visitations and experiences she had with Guruji. What follows is not a narrative, but exclamation marks of Guruji's many divine forms and presence in her life: in visions; in different manifestations, in tea leaves and dreams; in satsangs and out of them. They show how the soul is able to receive Guruji's grace and how the purified mind, warm in affection, can intuit these and help the individual cross over the many pitfalls of life.
These entries start in Feb and end on July 7.
Feb 8: Went for an evening satsang at a lady devotee's house and towards the end of the shabad, felt as if someone had placed his hand on my head. Tried to dismiss it, but found myself crying uncontrollably. Don't know why it happened.
Feb 10: Got a chance to light the
diya at a devotee's home. Asked to do a satsang, found my legs shivering and was overwhelmed. Shivering continued while I was eating
langar. I was the last one to come and go; got to eat
laddoo prasad and drink water.
Later, dreamt my office had shut down. That in Saudi Arabia, at a place called Khobar, I could apply for a job and get it there. Understood that Guruji was giving me a message. When Covid-19 came to Kuwait, the Saudi airport shut down. Then, the office stopped from March 12. Guruji gave me the signs a month before.
Feb 21, 22: Maha Shivratri day: Saw flowers falling on Guruji's
aasan. Got a flower petal on my hair while bowing down to touch Guruji's charan. The next day attended a 2-hour satsang for the first time. Got to light diyas in Pooja aunty's house the next day. The diya had three tiers of light. By the time arti was done, the wicks on the left and right side got burnt, but the middle row on the left stayed lit. After the Aarti, aunty's
dupatta caught fire, but Aunty was saved.
Feb 24: Put
tika on Guruji's forehead and it spread right up to His eyes in a straight line. Looked as if the sun's rays were emanating from His forehead. At a devotee's satsang that evening, Guruji was adorned with a similar tika. Got to do langar and
chai sewa. During langar, saw that my plate had two spoons. Last time that had happened it was a satsang, and my family friend delivered twins. Late that night, saw a message of Guruji's where he said He had found a
jeevan sathi and I had to accept the proposal.
Feb 27: Kept waking up in intervals before the alarm and wanted to continue sleeping when a sudden strong rose fragrance woke me up-a sign that Guruji has come and wants me to wake up and so I did. Went to satsang at Gauri Aunty's and got to light the diya again and keep at with Guruji's swaroop.
March: I had a dream sometime back in March that I had shared with my mother. I saw the waters of the Earth rise and the people slowly move to the topmost level of the buildings. We all get submerged, but the moment we start chanting mantra jaap, we start floating above the water. Then the dreamscape changes, and I am at a satsang venue looking for my mother. In April, watching the Vishnu Puran on the telly, I understood the dream.
Every time the Earth gets filled with impurity and negativity, human beings are given a chance to fix it, but if they don't, then Nature and the gods play their part in purifying the earth. Only those will be saved who have their Guru's blessings and bhakti with them. Guruji has given us this time to do bhakti as much as we can and our Guru will shield us.
Mar 7: I told my friend to postpone his April wedding in Delhi, but he didn't listen. On the 12
th all flights were stopped and curfew was imposed after a week. I had planned to go to Bade Mandir when I attended the wedding. Guruji is so great that everyday now I get to see the Bade Mandir live and do mantra jaap too. Later, my friend told me that the wedding had been postponed.
Apr 1: Dreamt that I could see a big idol of Mata Rani; the Mother was looking into my bedroom. Woke up chanting
Om Namah Shivay Shivji Sada Sahay Om Namah Shivay Guruji Sada Sahay and Jai Mata Di. Checked my mobile and it showed 2.39am.
Apr 6: For the past few days see Guruji as the tea boils. Last night before sleeping, heard mantra jaap and then as soon my eyes closed, heard someone calling me not by name but in a heavy voice. Woke up, looked around, chanted mantra and slept. Today, while making tea for Guruji I felt as if He was standing behind me. I chant the jaap and the swaroop now has a smile. Feel blessed with His presence. Then when I open Guruji's website, my satsang is posted! It's a Monday too. Watched live mantra jaap from Bade mandir (at 3 to 4pm here) and saw how the sunlight moved: from Guruji's charan to Guruji's shoulder throughout the mantra jaap. To the left of the swaroop, a shaft of sunlight took the form of a flame, with Guruji next to it. Feel so blessed with darshan.
Apr 7, 21: As I prepared tea, saw Hanumanji's lower jaw form on the leaves before the tea boiled. I had asked mom to bring a copper glass for me to keep in front of Guruji and drink from it every morning. At the bottom of the glass an image of Shivji doing tandav formed.
In the afternoon, a devotee who regularly sends me WhatsApp messages asked for urgent monetary help. Hesitated but then said 'Jai Guruji' mentally and agreed. Wondered why he asked me, but then understood that Guruji wanted him to ask me. I asked Him if such an experience had ever happened with any sangat and immediately got a pdf book of Guruji's
hukums from a lady devotee. The amount wasn't returned. But decided not to spoil my karma by speaking ill of this person.
Guruji is there to do justice. Don't speak ill of anybody: this is the test of a true devotee.
The devotee wanted to return the money, but was unable to transfer to my account. Asked him to make payments to the organization where I send money for sponsored children. As Guruji wants. He apologized for the inconvenience caused and I apologized for doubting Guruji's sangat.
Apr 13, 16 : Happy Baisakhi, Guruji. Woke up late. Mom was busy doing preparations for the day's satsang and I thought maybe Guruji is not happy with me, that's why I didn't get to do much. Mom assigned me to make Guruji's tea. She was making
roti prasad when she showed me Om and jyot darshans on the rotis. While I was preparing tea, a divine tableau formed on the leaves. The tea leaves took the shape of Shivji and then an image of Guruji merged with Shivji. There was Guru Nanak Devji and another swaroop of Guruji, underlining them all was an Om. Tears of bliss and joy overwhelmed me. Then as we played the playlist for Baisakhi, I began chanting Wahe Guru, and towards the middle of the track, the same chant started on the player. I had never heard this track before or the following one and the one that came after it.
While making tea, I got Guruji's darshan. He was sitting in His aasan and there was a huge face of a tiger on it. Slowly, the image changed to Mata's swaroop with many heads. Later the image changed to a dancing form of Radhe Krishna.
Apr 20: During morning satsang, Guruji gave darshan in His aasan, in the photo frame and in the dupatta. Sai Baba also gave darshan in Guruji's swaroop. While making tea, I saw two peacocks being formed. I had worn my new peacock earrings that day. I got to make
kadha prasad for Guruji and offer Him cool, flavored milk as well. The next day, while preparing tea for Guruji, I again had his darshan and that of Sai Baba. As the tea came to a boil, saw Shivji assume the tandav pose as He was joined by Mother Parvati. Saw Ram-Sita and Shivji-Parvati in pairs, too, later.
Apr 25: My brother slipped in the bathroom, but escaped with a bump on the head. As I made tea for Guruji, I saw Him again, as if He was holding a baby in His hands. Then I saw Om and also saw Guruji sitting on His aasan. Guruji is always protecting us.
Apr 26-28: Saw Mata Rani and Om; came to know it was Akshaya Tritya. Had asked Guruji why I hadn't got married. My dreams the previous night were troubled, and these signified that Guruji had saved me from the troubles ahead in married life. At work, people were getting fired, while my colleague and I were asked to continue with our current boss and work in other departments as well. In an early morning dream, saw myself at some holy place, sitting next to Shivji's swaroop. He held my hand. As I listened to Jethra uncle's satsang, I hear him tell how his wife had asked Guruji to hold their hands. Guruji had replied that once He took a devotee's hand He had no choice but to hold it. The devotee, however, was free to move away.
May 5,7: Early morning prayed to Guruji that I want to see your real form. Then let it be with
jaisi aapki ichaa. Then in the evening the tea leaves formed Guruji's swaroop and then swaroops of many gods. He fulfilled my wish. Two days later, satsang was held at home. I clicked photos of Guruji's swaroop and later saw Guru Nanak Dev on Guruji's forehead. On His dupatta, could see both Guruji and Guru Gobind Singh's swaroop like a reflection.
May 19, 28: Around 1am I saw that Guruji was giving my maternal uncle a
kurta as blessings and His chola as well. Then, I saw Mom talking to her friend Mamta and discussing sweetmeats. Her friend gave Mom directions to Bade Mandir. Only Guruji will tell what it means in time. Nine days later, again saw swaroop in which I saw Gurui sitting atop a horse, with an umbrella, just like a groom.
May 30-June 2: As I woke up in the morning, I received another book on Guruji by someone called Happily Ever After. A day later, got Divine Grace by Anita Kumar. While putting
bhog of chai prasad before Guruji, saw swaroop of Mata Rani along with Guruji. I was listening to
Sarva mangal mangalyay shive sarvat sadhike chant and it struck me that in the Ramayan when Mata Sita was going for
swayamwar, she had gone to Mata Rani for blessings. In the Mahabharat, when Rukmani had called Krishna to help and marry her, she had gone to the temple and prayed to Mata Rani for blessings. These darshans continued on June 2, too.
June 3: Last night I wasn't able to sleep, hence I started listening to mantra jaap. As I was nearing the end of the jaap and feeling sleepy, I felt someone touching my right foot trying to relax me. The previous night, my mother told me how in the video of a relative's wedding, the groom's face reminded her of Guruji in his youthful days. She was overwhelmed. My youngest brother also felt the groom looked liked a young Guruji.
June 4, 5: Added to His vision as groom were Shivji with the moon on his head, a huge Vishnuji; also, the Mother with
naag devtas at her feet.
June 9: Woke up with a start at 2.30 am and started listening to mantra jaap and chanted as well. After the jaap, I listened to satsangs and slept. Guruji woke me up at 5am suddenly and — I can't remember — saw him in my dream. He indicated that he wanted us to do satsang on the 18
th.
June 13, 15: At the Zoom satsangs held in Kuwait, listened to Mere Ram Rai shabad. Felt as if I was in the Golden Temple and having kadha prasad. Then I got the smell of
rajma. One of my colleagues was stressed as he hadn't got paid. I sent him a swaroop of Guruji and talked about His blessings. I asked Him to keep the swaroop in his phone. After that I heard a satsang where a devotee recounted how he had taken a colleague to Empire Estate and Guruji had blessed him. I was reassured that Guruji had blessed my colleague, too.
June 18: Dreamt that Guruji is sitting and smiling in His red chola; as I bow down to Him, He raises his hands above my head and says: "
Main aagaya haan bless karne." The evening satsang went well and finished so quickly! There was an image of a peacock on the tika that adorned Guruji.
July 3-7: Before waking up, saw Guruji with a smiling face, a Shivlinga and three like that one after the other. The next day, since there were no tea leaves, made instant coffee for Guruji. As it started to simmer, a chariot formed in the center, below it was Shivji, Parvati Ma and a growling tiger; on the left side was Guruji. On July 7, my dress for Guruji's birthday matched Guruji's chola. I had planned something else earlier, but Guruji had made me change it.
Bless us all, Guruji, and forgive us. Hold is in your greater love even as we aspire to love you and grant us the ability to feel gratitude towards you.
Payal Chadha, devotee, Kuwait
July 2020