More than thirty-five years have elapsed since I got married, and ill-health has dogged me nearly all those years. I am a mother of three, two daughters and a son, and have gone through many surgeries but in the year 2006, my worst crisis started. I was infected with Hepatitis C and had to come to Delhi, where my daughter and son-in-law lived, for treatment.
Three years later, I was in a worse state. I was not even able to digest water. At that point, my son-in-law wanted to take me to a spiritual place though he himself was not keen on it. He did not reveal where he planned to take me and acknowledged that he did not know what it was all about, but felt that I would find peace at this place. On the other hand, I have always had strong faith in the Almighty, which has kept me going. I can also easily take to
mantras and
paath, though rituals do not interest me. Hence, I was more than willing to go.
On a Monday my daughter, son-in-law, granddaughter and our maid went to what I later knew to be Guruji's Bade Mandir. As I entered the holy precincts, I felt good vibes. Like the rest of the devotees, we first did a
parikrama of the
Samadhi and had holy water as we went to the main hall. We sat in for some time and had
prasad: samosas, laddoos and chai. I was told to drink and eat all of everything that was served. I obeyed—though I had hardly been told anything about Guruji and had not been digesting water for the last 10 days. Here, I slowly ate the heavy savories. My grand-daughter was not able to eat a full samosa, so she gave me her share and I ate that, too. My son-in-law was observing me. He was worried that I would get sick and that there was no hospital nearby.
We went inside the hall again to take our leave. I saw His beautiful
swaroops and very much wanted them. But devotees cannot just buy the sacred swaroops; they reach the sangat at His command. I was blessed that very day: As we came out of the Mandir, a devotee gave me a swaroop of Guruji!
Yet that year, my liver condition got so bad that I needed a transplant. I had to stay in Delhi, too, so that I was within reach as soon as a liver became available. I reached Delhi from Ludhiana on July 5 and wanted to go to Bade Mandir to wish Guruji on His birthday two days later. My children wouldn't allow it as they feared the huge rush at the function.
My daughter took me instead to Empire Estate. We wished Guruji and received His blessings. After we had chai, samosa and
barfi prasad, the sangat asked us to stay back for
langar. My son-in-law had a pressing meeting, but he too had to remain. I was happy because my wish for
darshan and prasad had been granted even though I had been unable to go to Bade Mandir.
Next week at Empire Estate we thought of staying for langar, as it was being served to a few old-time devotees. As I waited, Guruji's room was opened and Sudha aunty called me in. It was a thrilling moment! I went in and bowed my head on His bed, with tears in my eyes. I stayed in the room for a good 10 to 15 minutes and took a good look at everything. Guruji blessed me with something I had never ever expected. It was like a dream. We then had langar prasad and then returned home.
Guruji gives us what we don't even ask for; His ways of blessing us are unlimited. He shows you that He is there with you whenever you need Him.
My prolonged stay in Delhi gave me the opportunity to attend
satsangs and visit the Mandir. My constant prayer to Guruji was that he be with me through my surgery. I never prayed to Him to get it done early or not get it done. I left it in His hands.
On the evening of the 23
rd, the hospital called to say that a liver was available in Bangalore—was I ready? I had been waiting for two months, so, of course, I was. The coordinator booked two tickets, for myself and my son, for Bangalore. I informed my husband in Ludhiana and called up the coordinator to check on the doctor who had promised me that he would do my surgery. Dr. Soin had to do an operation the next day and could not go; however, the coordinator assured me that the rest of the medical team from Delhi would reach Bangalore. "As you wish," I told Guruji mentally, "I have fully surrendered myself to you, so you see to it."
An hour or so later, Dr. Soin called me up to say that he would be going to Bangalore and had postponed the scheduled surgery for mine. I knew Guruji was behind the change and thanked Him. We were relieved that the doctor familiar with my case was going to do the operation. My flight was booked for six in the morning. The next morning while leaving for the airport I talked to Guruji: "Chalo, Guruji," I said, "It's time to go for surgery."
At the hospital in Bangalore, I met my family, took Guruji's swaroop in my hand and went to the operating room. The Delhi team was already there. I asked the doctor to keep Guruji's swaroop by my side both during and after the surgery.
I regained consciousness in the recovery room the next day after 15–16 hours. But five days later, I had acute respiratory distress syndrome, in which fluid builds up inside the air sacs in the lungs. The survival rate of normal patients with this infection is 30%, and here I was a liver transplant patient. The family was worried and the doctors were not hopeful. They put a pipe into my throat and put me on the ventilator. I was barely conscious. All I could feel was intense discomfort. Whenever I could, I kept talking to Guruji: You are with me and cannot leave me alone.
Then, I lost consciousness. What I experienced next was real enough.
I found myself telling my daughter that I was being discharged from the hospital. With the help of a lady devotee, who was like family to us, I got permission to offer
bhog to Guruji at Bade Mandir. Upon discharge, I met the doctor and went to the Mandir. When I entered Guruji's room along with my family to offer bhog, Guruji said, "
Aa gayi liver transplant kara ke" (She's come back after getting the liver transplant.) Everybody was surprised; my husband was stunned. I said yes and Guruji gave His blessings with "
Ja kalyan kitta." What next, I asked Guruji, who told me that He had extended my life by a specific number of years. He then gave me a bottle of
jal prasad from the bhog, saying that it was meant for me, but that I should not sit for langar. He also said that if someone offered cottage cheese (
paneer) to me, I should not refuse it. I recalled that I had not been eating paneer, as I could not digest cottage cheese.
When I regained consciousness, reality followed Guruji's
hukm. My daughter told me that my son-in-law had got jal prasad from the bhog given to Guruji at Bade Mandir and that he had sent it for me to Bangalore. That proved the veracity of my vision.
Guruji always makes good on His compassionate promises; it is we who cannot surrender ourselves to Him.
Jai Guruji!
Poonam Gulati, a devotee
February 2019