Disillusioned and heartbroken, I found shelter in Guruji

Prerna Luthra, April 2020
My journey with Guruji began in 2014, when I had cleared the class 12 CBSE boards with 95% marks and applied to Delhi University for admission into its B.Com Honours course. I took admission where I was eligible to based on the cutoff lists, but was not satisfied. My mother too was tense. At that time, she received a picture of Guruji on her phone. She was gazing at His swaroop when I called. I had great news: Cutoff marks for a reputed co-ed college had dropped significantly, and I could take admission. My mother was elated, and the next day we got the admission formalities done. A lot of my close school friends too had got into the same college, a promising, and fun start.

Through this time, I had been in a relationship and facing problems. Searching for succor, I asked my mother to send me Guruji's photograph. I looked at it and prayed to Him, and within a few hours the issue got sorted. But the problems didn't get over and affected my studies. I messed up my first-semester accounting paper and was sure I wouldn't pass. I prayed to Guruji and He didn't let me fail. Mom and I then visited Bade Mandir to thank Guruji, even though we hardly knew of Him or His ways.

My best friend, a longtime devotee of Guruji, showed me the truth about the person I was in a relationship with. I realized I had been saved from a disaster. Heartbroken, I carried on with life even as mom and I came closer to Guruji, frequently visiting the Mandir. In time, we also got integrated with the sangat.

A year later I again fell in love; I was on cloud nine. We were able to sustain the relationship despite the problems that came up right through college. I completed my studies, attaining distinction with Guruji's grace. I interviewed with one of the big four audit companies, and landed the job with Guruji's grace. However, it had a bad work culture and I decided to quit. I exited quickly and easily as opposed to the months it usually takes other people to be relieved. It was all His grace.

I had dreamt of pursuing fashion, so decided to study fashion management. I applied for the National Institute of Fashion Technology, but didn't make it. I was disheartened, but Guruji got me into a reputed academy. I wasn't happy there too and left after completing the first year. Then I remembered how during a satsang at our place, a devotee who used to serve Guruji when He was in His physical form, had cautioned me against taking up fashion.

I knew I still wanted to study and not go for a job, so I decided to pursue a masters in commerce from DU. I didn't give the entrance, assured that my B.Com distinction would provide significant merit to see me in. But I couldn't get in. I was dejected. My mother suggested I do an online MBA. I wasn't keen, but got through. I also applied for an online M. Com at DU, and am pursuing both together.

In December 2019, a string of events came together. There were my MBA exams, an out-of-town wedding of my best friend's sister, and my birthday. I stressed about how I was going to manage the exams.

To my utter surprise, the day I logged in to get my online slot for the exams, the college website had a notice saying the tests had been postponed to January. Guruji had taken care of everything; I was overjoyed.

However, in the spring of 2020, I was again devastated. My college romance came to an end. We had had problems, but the lockdown precipitated a crisis. My boyfriend bluntly told me that he saw no future with me and broke up. I was heartbroken, and still am. I have taken to doing mantra jaap and reading satsangs to find a modicum of peace. Tears fill my eyes when I read devotees' experiences of grace. I feel blessed to have my family and my guru parivar with me during these times. I have left my future in Guruji's hands. Shukrana Guruji, for everything. Jai Guruji!

Prerna Luthra, a devotee

April 2020