My last visit to India in November 2019 drew me very close to Guruji. I was staying with my parents in South Delhi, when one night I woke up after a couple of hours. My body was aching and I had high fever. I called out to my sister for medicines, but she asked me go back to sleep, pointing out I was merely exhausted.
A few minutes later, I felt a heavy comforting hand calming me down as it rustled my hair, saying: "
Jhaliye, tu fikar na kara kar! Bas aish kar! Sab theek ho jaana hai. Main hoon na!" I was unable to open my eyes, but told my dad to go back to his room to sleep. He insisted on staying and comforting me. I distinctively remember that I said, "Papa, you are acting like I am a child. When I was little and would have fever, you would sit by my bedside and do the same thing. But now even my daughter is going to be a teenager. I am not a kid any more so please go and sleep." Saying so, I went to sleep.
I woke up very early, excited and unreasonably happy. There was a chair right next to my bed; I wondered how it had come there, as I had not pulled up the chair. At that moment, I heard the harmonious
shabads of devotees doing the rounds of the
Prabhat Pheri. I ran to the balcony and had a strong urge to go and visit a nearby gurdwara. I took a bath and was ready to go, but everyone was still sleeping, including my sister. She was surprised to see me dressed so early and after much pleading, let me go.
I went not to the neighbouring gurdwara but to one farther away. As soon as I entered the gurdwara, I was mesmerized. There were tons of beautiful red roses lying around with
sewadars decorating the whole pathway leading to the Shri Guru Granth Sahib. As soon as I had prostrated, the ragis began hymning the shabad,
Main vadbhagi guru darshan deyo. I had never heard this shabad. I was ecstatic and tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably. I sat for some time, took
kadha prasad and returned home.
By the time I was back, everyone was up and drinking morning tea; they remarked on my glowing face. I inquired from my dad, a light sleeper, about the night before and he said he had never come to check up on me. He was either joking or lying, I replied, but he insisted that he had no clue. My sister' however, confirmed that I had asked for medicines. Once I put the pieces together it dawned on me that it was none other than our Guruji who had given me darshan.
Soon I went to be with my in-laws, who hadn't yet been to Guruji's. I missed Guruji and wondered if
satsangs were being held nearby. To my surprise, our neighbours from across the floor invited us for a Prabhath Pheri. Since we were jet lagged, I accepted tentatively; surprisingly, the following morning, my husband too joined me and we both left for the Pheri. We went to the house where a
bhandara had been arranged; at the entrance, I saw a big
swaroop of Guruji. I was overwhelmed: Guruji had responded to the smallest request of my heart.
After
langar, the host came up to me and asked if we were visiting from the US. When I said yes, she invited me to go to Bade Mandir with her that evening. I got teary-eyed, and thanked my loving Guruji for everything He does for us.
I decided to take my ailing mother-in law to Bade Mandir for the first time. After a two and a half hour drive, we reached the Mandir. As we got out of the car, a woman came with a wheelchair and my mother-in-law sat on it. We first went to the rear of the temple to use the restroom. A rather strict sewadar asked us to park the wheelchair outside the adjoining langar hall and said we'd receive all our prasad there. I was disheartened that we would not be able to go to the main hall. I explained this was my in-law's first visit and that we would like to go inside the hall to have Guruji's darshan. He did not budge. I had tears in my eyes and told Guruji that I hadn't come so far for this. I prayed that He allow us to see Him once and to do the
parikrama of the mandir. Immediately a sewadar tapped my shoulder. He took us in.
The Mandir hall has a few steps that lead into it, and my mother-in-law was reluctant to climb them. I insisted that she try just once. Seeing me help her, another sewadar approached us and helped her. At the last step, my mother-in-law felt dizzy and restless likely on account of the crowd. I hoped someone would let us into the hall without us having to join the semi-circular queue at the entrance. A sewadar came and lifted the red tape for us—as if we were special guests. The moment we stepped inside the hall, I loudly said "Jai Guruji". I thanked Guruji at every step as I knew it was He who was paving our path.
We were approaching Guruji's
gaddi, and I was wondering how I would bow down to Him as I was holding my mom-in-law's hand when a sewadar prompted me to do so. Seeing our predicament, another sewadar was assigned to us and he ensured we had full darshan and did not have to wait in lines.
I felt Guruji's presence at every step in the mandir.
As soon as we came out of the
samadhi hall, a tall and beautifully dressed lady approached me and gave me a swaroop of Guruji. She asked me to close my fist and to always keep the swaroop close to my heart "the way you have Him in your heart". I couldn't stop crying. When we were about to ask for the wheelchair again, a sewadar approached me and said, "Aunty, you are very lucky! Nobody gets anything inside the mandir anymore." I was in awe and gratitude of our dear Guruji who took so much care and who loves us unconditionally.
Taj Mahal and butterflies: Moments of Guruji's presence
One of the highlights of our India visit was to be the Taj Mahal. Inside the monument, I felt a sudden gush of energy from behind me and thought I saw Guruji right in front of me. I told my husband, who was with me, but he said he hadn't felt any such thing. Moments later, my daughter pointed out three or four beautiful butterflies that came from nowhere and were just hovering over me alone! I was feeling very happy and began grinning.
Back at our hotel, I found that Guruji's swaroop had fallen from my bracelet, but my husband commented: "Guruji is always with you. You need not worry!" I was very excited and happy and felt as if Guruji had said those words Himself.
I cannot thank my dear Guruji enough as He not only protects me but also constantly shows me ways to correct my behaviour if I ever deviate from His teachings. As I wrote this satsang and relived these beautiful memories of His grace, I asked Guruji, "Are you here?" I immediately saw a heart on the floor.
He was there for us when my mom broke her femur. That very day when I attended a virtual satsang, a devotee shared the same scenario. She told how she had a dream that her grandmom had fallen on the floor back home. The situation was very discomfiting for her dad, while she couldn't travel from the US. Guruji showed up in her dream, comforted her and asked her not to worry. He reassured her that He had been in hospital during the surgery and her mom would be fine.
I was spellbound as she related the satsang knowing I was not hearing it coincidentally: Guruji was telling me not to worry.
He has made it so easy for us to surrender and have complete faith in Him. It is we who complicate the path by often judging our circumstances and ourselves.
I have no words to express His infinite grace. It's all taken care of as it is under His control. I strongly feel His divine presence. Guruji please do not leave us! Always keep us under your wings and protect us!
Rajni Chawla, a devotee
December 2020