I always dreamt of writing my own book, but did not have confidence. Something or the other would always detract me from writing my dream book and I could not start. During the lockdown I tried to get back into writing, took advice from a few well-wishers, but it didn't go well.
Frustrated and unable to clear my mind, I angrily declared to Guruji that I will not write anything till the time Guruji won't give me a hint or guide me. I was confused, had no idea how to begin and needed help.
A month went by, by which time I had forgotten the declaration I had made to Guruji. On the second of September I got a request to help a devotee with a Hindi poem competition. The devotee's office was hosting Hindi Week, and she wanted me to share a poem she could contribute. Guruji had told her that I alone would be able to help, she told me.
I was stunned because she had no idea that I wrote. Without wasting time, I asked her for the details of the entry to understand what was required for the poem. I thanked Guruji for giving me this opportunity. I took it as a sign that Guruji wanted me to start writing.
I attempted the poem with zest; it took me two days to craft and edit. As I do not have use of vocabulary, I took help from one person to check my phrasing and words. Once it was all set, I sent it to the lady devotee. Meanwhile, the competition was postponed.
I hope her entry gets first prize. Not because I wrote it, but because I feel overwhelmed that she showed such faith in me without knowing anything about my writing. I am not a professional writer nor do I have knowledge of the art; I merely express my feelings and emotions through poetry. Many thanks to Guruji for blessing me with a beautiful and a healthy life.
Here is the poem:
यू मिलें कुछ इस तरह
ज़िंदगी मिलीं यू हमें कुछ,
की हम बस चलते रहे,
फिर मिला हमें गुरु हमारा,
और हम रमते चले गए।
उनकी उस सादगी ने हमें,
खुद से एक पहचान करायी है,
की यू तो है बहुत से बेसहारा,
और हम खुद का नाम करते गए।
जिस दिन भी हटी उनकी नज़र,
हम खुद से नज़र ना सिला सके,
और हम बस यह सोचते रहे की,
यह सब सिर्फ़ हम ही करते रहे।
समय केसा भी हो ज़िंदगी में,
धूप हो या छाओ हो,
दो पल का ही है समाँ,
तो क्यू ना फिर उनकी ही हो रज़ा
और उनका ही साथ हों।
उनकी चोखट पर जाके,
बस बात एक समझ में आयी है,
सबसे पहले है वो,
उसके बाद ही यह दुनियादारी है।
कहीं भी आऊ कही भी जाऊँ,
कर दो मुझ पे एक और रहम,
जहां तक भी में पहुँच पाऊँ,
हाथ जोड़ गुंन तेरे गाऊँ।
है सीस झुका के शत शत नमन
यू मुझे अपनाने का,
हूँ में केसा भी बस यह ना हटाना,
जो अब नज़र एक मुझ पे डाली है।
[Following section added September 2024]
"Jithhe Maryada Nahi Hoti, Wahan Mein Nahi Hota"
In February of 2024, I had a profound dream, a vision in which Guruji clearly enunciated His teachings. As I lay sleeping, I saw that a
satsang was taking place in my home. There were many
sangat, but no one was sitting with the respect due to the very presence of Mahashiva. Some people were taking calls or watching videos on their phones, others were clicking photographs, and more were engrossed in conversations. Even when the
sewadars tried to intervene, no one paid attention. Meanwhile, the
shabads played on–unheeded.
Feeling uneasy, I left the
darbar and went to the kitchen where my two sisters were doing
sewa. My playlist was set for two hours, and I had noticed that one hour and fifty-two minutes had passed. I hugged them and began crying, sorrowful that no one was truly listening to the Guru's word. It felt wrong: We were disrespecting the sacredness of the satsang. Was it a social gathering or Guruji Maharaj's satsang? I decided to stop the shabads and went back to the darbar, apologizing with a heavy heart and telling people that we would end it here and that they could partake in Guruji's blessed
langar prasad before leaving.
Most of the sangat began to leave, but seven or eight devotees remained seated, their eyes closed, deeply immersed in Guruji's presence. They seemed to be in a meditative state, unaware of their surroundings. After the sangat left, I closed the door and sat inside, asking Guruji for forgiveness, feeling that I had failed to conduct the satsang properly since no one had listened to the shabads. I begged for His mercy.
At that moment–still in my dream–the doorbell rang. I opened the door to see Guruji standing at the gate with two of His devotees. I greeted Him, touched His feet, and asked, "Guruji, why are you outside?" Guruji, standing there, simply replied, "
Jithhe maryada nahi hoti, wahan mein nahi hota." (I am not present where no dignity and respect is accorded). Then He directed me to go inside and finish the satsang as the sangat was still seated inside.
I watched Guruji walk to His
aasan in the darbar and sit down. He then said, "Play the playlist, uncle, there are 8 minutes left." We completed the playlist, followed by the mantra jaap. I saw Guruji sitting contentedly and then saying: "Where there is respect, there I am." Summoning my courage, I asked Guruji to explain the meaning of "maryada". Guruji, in His joy, smiled and said, "Go, get a pen and paper, and write." What He told me, I now share with all of you:
1. Always listen to the blessed shabads attentively; within them lie your answers. Regularly listen to satsangs.
2. Turn off your phone during a satsang; the device drains all positive vibrations.
3. Sit where the sewadars guide you. Your behaviour affects both the sangat and the souls I bring with Me.
4. Do not discuss the
chai or
langar prasad, whether it's too sweet or spicy. It is your medicine, My blessing.
5. Avoid idle chatter after the satsang; it diminishes the blessings you have received.
6. Serve your parents: That is also a form of satsang.
7. Carry the spirit of the satsang with you, from the mandir to home and from home to the mandir.
8. Sit with Me.
There may have been more that He said, but this is what I remember. As soon as I thanked Guruji, the dream ended. I woke up crying, realizing how many mistakes we make, yet Guruji, in His infinite grace, continues to bless and guide us. He reminded me that where there is no respect, He will not be present.
This satsang is not meant to criticize sangat, but to share Guruji's teachings. Even though I may have made mistakes while hosting the satsang, Guruji, out of His immense compassion, pointed me to the true essence of a satsang.
I am eternally grateful to Maharaj-ji for keeping me in His divine grace. With deep gratitude, I humbly thank Guruji Maharaj for keeping us in His divine sanctuary and for continuously bestowing His infinite grace upon me and my family. Whether I am truly part of the sangat or not, I will always strive to live by these teachings and never forget them. I thank all devotees and ask for their forgiveness for any mistakes.
Rajnish Anand, a devotee
September 2024