My first visit to Bade Mandir was in year 2009. I am a firm devotee of Lord Shiva and respect all religions, but my love for Lord Shiva is something I cannot express in words. One of my closest friends told me about Guruji, introducing Him as an avatar of Lord Shiva. Idiot that I am, I ignored him. But knowing my fervor for Shivji, my friend invited me to go to Bade Mandir, telling me how
Shivratri was celebrated there. A couple of months later, I went with two of my friends-I was in college at the time-to the Mandir for the first time.
We finally reached the Mandir-the doorstep of heaven on earth. We bowed at Guruji's
Samadhi and saw Shivji's
murti, which made me happy. We entered the hall and fixed my gaze on Shivji and nothing else. I saw Guruji's
gaddi and
swaroop but my ego blinded me. I saw my friends and devotees sitting there relaxed and calm. But I was not impressed. I could get peace at home while chanting 'Om Namah Shivay', I said to myself, I did not have to come all this way to get some peace of mind. It was a Monday, Lord Shiva's day, which is why I had consented to go to the Mandir. I couldn't relate with Guruji at all due to my ego. I had no idea of who Guruji was.
I returned home and that was it. My ego had led to ignorance, but my heart knew that I had come to the right place. I didn't believe in Guruji, but my heart was already His and will always be His.
Some time passed by and I went to the Mandir a couple of times, that too on Mondays and on the condition that someone should take me along as I would not waste petrol on a long trip. While my friends benefitted from the peace at the Mandir, I remain mired in ifs and buts. I firmly told myself that Shivji's
bhole bhandari roop was the sole truth for me and no baba would take that place. I am sorry, Guruji, for being such a fool!
Even so I would respect Guruji internally and would mentally bow to Him. But I was not a fan of going to the Bade Mandir at all.
In 2013, I got my first
darshan of Guruji at home. I was meditating and chanting Om Namah Shivay. Suddenly I felt that my body was not mine anymore; that it was Guruji Himself. My body had turned into Guruji's even as I kept chanting the
mantra. I had no idea of what had happened and what it meant. But I thought I must return the courtesy of Guruji's visit. The next Monday I went to the Mandir with a friend who had come from Lucknow that very day. We had a beautiful darshan and sat below the staircase leading up to the main hall. For the first time in my life I felt in peace at that place, I felt complete. I could feel the Mandir's sacred awe descend and imbibe the unconditional love of our Guruji. My friend also felt at peace. Later we understood that the visit was part of Guruji's divine plan to take her too under His refuge.
My connection began with salutations to Guruji. I'd often say 'Hi', 'Hello' or
Namaste to Him.
A year later I received another memorable darshan. One day when my college class was cancelled I decided to go to the Mandir. I reached Bade Mandir at 1pm and found the Mandir gates closed. I called up my friend, who told me that it was Guruji's birthday and the Mandir would open at 2pm. I waited in queue and had darshan of Guruji and Shivji on top of the Shivling. I thought nothing about it. I was practicing Reiki and angel therapy and would often 'see' angels. And I was blinded by my ego, so I could not understand how blessed I was to get darshan. I had
langar prasad and returned home.
My spiritual adventures with Reiki without the guidance of a guru, however, soon created problems. The universe's energy is accessible to us through a technique such as Reiki, but we don't know how much we can justifiably take or control. At times I would get extra energy and would be unable to sleep. When I faced this problem for the first time, it was night. I automatically began chanting Guruji's name, requesting Him to come and help me. A thought arose in my mind that I should just keep my head on His lap and sleep. I started chanting His name and I slept, waking up around 3-4am. I felt Guruji very near me, keeping His hand on my head and telling me: "
So ja" (Sleep.) And I slept very peacefully. The incident repeated itself another time.
As I pursued Reiki and angel therapy enthusiastically, difficulties grew. Not only could I easily 'see' spirits, but negative energy or a negative entity latched on to me. By September-October 2014, I was in deep water. I knew an uncle, who was a practitioner of tantra. In his presence, the negative energy would leave me. I tried removing the negative presence myself, but couldn't do it. That set me wondering one night. How would I be protected if my uncle was not around? What would I do in his absence? It was late at night and I couldn't sleep because of that negativity. I ended up asking help from our Guruji, the great. Within half an hour, I felt positive again. I relaxed, got up, had dinner at 2am and slept.
By sheer good fortune, the next day was a Monday so I could take myself to thank Guruji. I reached the Mandir late in the evening at 7:30pm. As I sat down for
chai and
samosa prasad, the
mantra jaap started. I knew the negative energy had not left me, so while doing mantra jaap, I prayed to Guruji: "Sir, I have tried all that I could to remove it but it's of no use. I even asked for help from that tantric uncle but that was also not very helpful, so please Guruji you have to help me now and save my life. I am all yours now, Sir." Something happened at this utterance, and when the mantra jaap got over, I felt light again.
Lord Guruji had saved me. I felt that 90% of my negativity was gone and I was very happy. I thought I would remove the rest of the negativity by myself. But Guruji took care of that too. I felt bidden to go to the Mandir on Thursday and had my first langar prasad at night. I attended
satsang and did whatever Guruji guided me to do during that time. I felt all my
chakras being cleaned and balanced. I felt great positivity and love. I took
agya and came out and for the first time, I asked for a swaroop of Guruji's. After 10 to 15mins, the devotee who gave me the swaroop asked me to go straight to my car and head for home. I kept walking till my car non-stop along with my friend, who had been blessed with a swaroop as well. We took the devotee's order as Guruji's Himself and went to the car with big smiles on our faces. When I reached the car, I had expected to be enervated, but instead was full of energy. I told my friend that Guruji had blessed us for life.
That was the moment I fell completely in love with Guruji. Now, I have surrendered my soul, my mind, and my body to Guruji.
Guruji keeps on blessing us each day, each hour, each second. With His grace every moment is a satsang in itself. It took me time to understand who Guruji truly is, but with His blessings I know He is the only Truth there is in the world. He is Mahashiva, the Creator Himself, He is the Universe, He is
maalik. We are truly lucky to have the Creator Himself as a Guru, as only a Guru can grant us
moksha.
Guruji fulfills all our needs: We have to just surrender to Him and have faith in Him; He can do anything; there is nothing in the world that He cannot do. It is we who think limitedly, but He is unlimited.
Yes, we do have to face up to our bad deeds and ill
karmas. But Guruji is so merciful that He says that the moment we come to Him, He takes 90% of our karma on Himself and blesses us. Guruji is so great that when we truly surrender to His will, He in fact takes 110% of our problems away. I have felt many times that Guruji has taken all my problems upon Himself.
I have not met Him physically but telepathically: He grants His darshans in every satsang I attend or every time I visit Bade Mandir. Believe that He is there on His Gaddi, and He will show you amazing things and make your life such that you won't stop praising Him.
Guruji is my Guru, my best friend, my maalik, my love, my all. Not a single second passes by without me remembering Him. There is no me left in me, it's all You Guruji. I pray to Guruji that every little action and thought of mine is in obedience to His
hukm.
To connect with Guruji, shabads are vital
I have given up doing Reiki and have not taken up any other spiritual practice. I only connect with Guruji, as He is the Supreme Master. In fact, it is most important to make a direct connection with Guruji first. Sit with Guruji during satsangs, always reach before time and welcome Guruji. Always talk to Him in your mind, telepathically. He always listens to us, helps us and gives us answers. The more you believe in Guruji the more darshans and blessings you will get. When I started going to the Mandir, I wasted some years and couldn't understand who Guruji is: I regret that. My ego had blinded me. Only we stop ourselves from getting close to Him-no one and nothing else. If we surrender to Him and keep full faith in Him, then Guruji
aish kara denge, that is, fulfill us with untold blessings.
One must talk to Guruji directly. Just sitting in satsangs will bless anyone more than we can think. There is no need to run here and there after we come to Guruji, as Guruji is present everywhere at all times. We should just spend time with Him, talk to Him, and attend nearby satsangs. Have patience as He knows the best time to bless us with what we need. Talk to Guruji even in the absence of His swaroop in your heart and He listens.
No rituals are needed, only love is required.
To sit in satsangs and listen to
shabads is a blessing as well as a
sewa. Not everyone gets a chance to sit beside the maalik Himself and enjoy the shabads. To talk to Guruji telepathically is also a blessing. There must not be any hurry to ask for sewa. When the time comes Guruji will bless you with sewa in Bade Mandir or in satsangs.
Listening to shabads and learning important life-lessons from the gurbani is vital. Once you have made connection to Him by practicing sitting with Guruji (
upasana), you will be able to receive Guruji's guidance.
At times I sit beside Him and enjoy the satsang, at times He blesses me with sewa, at times He blesses me by allowing me to talk to Him. It's all His will. Also when you come under His
sharan there are no coincidences in life, it's all Guruji's blessings. Every second is a satsang under Guruji's sharan.
Guruji's satsang usually takes up to two hours. Some devotees think that Guruji leaves the sangat after that. But Guruji is very much present. I have seen Guruji seated on the gaddi even after the prescribed satsang duration is over. I have always regretted not being able to come to Guruji earlier and be in His divine presence and loving grace. But now Guruji gives me this chance, allowing me to sit beyond the satsang duration of two hours by way of sharing satsangs with sangat, telepathic talk with Guruji or meditating on Guruji-in whatever way He may guide.
Whenever there is a satsang at a devotee's home, one should sit with Guruji for He has come in response to your call. Guruji is everywhere. We are limited by our thoughts, but Guruji is not: He is unlimited. Though no evidence is required, even while in physical form Guruji was at times present at more than one place at the same time. You just need to make a direct connection with Him. When in a satsang, concentrate on the shabads, even if you have heard them before. There will be some new learning every time. That will be the way to connect to Guruji.
We cannot understand how blessed we are when we come to Guruji and we are indeed very lucky to be able to attend Guruji's satsangs. Most of us do not understand the true value of satsangs. Whether we have come under His sharan before or after 2007, it does not matter. What matters is the direct connection that we have with Him and we should concentrate on meditating on Him only.
Within Guru parivaar, love alone must prevail
We meet many people, with some we have good relationships; others are either avoidable bad company or just not in tune with us. After coming under Guruji's sharan, I have noticed a change as regards people whom I would not relate to amicably. It's not that I was getting into arguments with them, it was a question of compatibility.
We are limited human beings; we don't remember what we said to a person two months ago, so we have no idea what misunderstanding we may be carrying over from our past lives. But Guruji knows. I noticed that some people started talking to me nicely after I came under His sharan. But there was one
sewadar, with whom I had never shared pleasant words. I felt really bad about it and I prayed to Guruji. I asked Him to forgive me for any unpleasantness I may have caused that devotee in the past and him too. I told Guruji: "
Mujhe acha nahi lagta ki sangat pariwar mein kisi ke liye bhi galat bhav ho mere dil mein, so please mujhe and un uncle ko bless karo and hamare dil mein prem bhav hi aaye ek dusre ke liye." (I don't like it when I have negative emotions for anyone in the sangat. Kindly bless me and the devotee so that we meet each other with love.) It was just a matter of praying to Guruji wholeheartedly and the next time I met that uncle, all was cool between us. He greeted me very nicely for the first time, and I knew it was Guruji's blessings. Jai Guruji!
There are always two options in such situations: One is to fight, argue, and mouth bad things about people behind their backs. The other is to talk to Guruji about it and ask for His blessings for both the parties. So that all may be at peace. If you crib about a devotee or sewadar, you are only adding to your bad karma and not theirs. But you can also be a wiser person: talk to Guruji about the problem and ask for forgiveness for yourself as well as the person whom you are thinking about-you will get blessed even more.
Never think or say anything bad about any sangat or sewadar. Guruji has given us a beautiful Guru
parivaar. We must love each other and stay united as a Guru parivaar, which is our real family which alone helps us. Jai Guruji!
Extraordinary darshans: Sheshanaga and Guru Nanak Devji
Guruji's blessings cannot be written or described in any form. Only when we experience His blessings, do we realise how much He has granted us.
In August 2015, there was a satsang at a friend's place. I had wanted to go early and help with the arrangements. But Guruji had other plans. I was directed to sit with Him instead of doing sewa. I reached five minutes before the satsang and when Guruji arrived, I bowed my head to Him and sat in the front near Him. As soon as I sat, I saw the
Sheshanaga with Guruji. At first I thought I was imagining it, but Guruji forbade me to doubt a darshan. Guruji then showed me a Shivlinga-just like those that can be seen in temples. The shabads too were focused on Guru Mahima.
And for the very first time I had darshan of Guru Nanak Devji. While in
dhyaan, I saw I was meeting Guru Nanak Devji. He was hugging me with tears in his eyes and it seemed as though we were meeting after ages. Just a few days before this, a friend had given me a swaroop of Guru Nanak Devji. To attain moksha one has to worship Lord Shiva and I have been doing so since many births. Only now, however, had I been blessed with a darshan of Guru Nanak Devji.
While in dhyaan, I asked Guruji to give darshan of a divine space, the pure hall of whiteness. I continued with my requests, which were denied. My karmas had not been sufficiently purified yet; I needed to get them cleaned with charity before I could get this darshan.
I then prayed to Guruji for
amrit varsha and though I normally do not insist, this particular time I repeated my request with impunity. My wish was granted when I felt a divine white light being showered upon me. My body felt fresh and energized and my joy knew no bounds. Later, when sharing the experience with a friend, he mentioned that he had also made the same request to Guruji and he got the reply that the request had been granted but that it was not visible to my friend.
After the amrit varsha, I saw the Sheshanaga circle me and finally settle with me. Guruji said that it would always be with me and protect me in this
kalyug. I was really happy to hear that. When I shared my experience, my friend's father told that he had had a vision in which a snake had come and sat on Guruji's gaddi. But he did not know what it meant. Uncle got the answer when I told him that the Sheshanaga was for protection.
My experiences with Guruji are different each time. The happiness cannot be expressed in words, it can only be experienced.
Miracle of faith: Hospitalised Mom regains memory
On 6
th of July, we had to attend a satsang at my friend's place. I went early while my mother was to come at the appointed time. She was having a severe headache, for which she took a medicine. She prayed to Guruji to cure her so that she could attend the satsang. With Guruji's grace, she was able to. She returned home, but I came after wishing Guruji on His Birthday and having cake as prasad. As soon as I entered my house, I was mesmerized by Guruji's fragrance, which was coming from the whole house. I was happy that Guruji had come and blessed us all. When I went to my mother's room, she opened her eyes and I asked her to wish Guruji and go off to sleep.
The next morning I was elated: It was Guruji's birthday. I decided that there was going to be no asking for anything today. It was a day of celebration. I went to the Bade Mandir and had a very lovely darshan. I got the chance to sit for a full four hours in the Mandir and it was like being in heaven, '
aish' in Guruji's words. Upon reaching home, I received more blessings in the form of Guruji's fragrance. Mom again had a headache though and was sleeping.
The next day she had sudden memory loss. She was not able to recollect names of things. We felt that the problem was due to blood pressure and would go away after she took medicines. But when we called the doctor, he suggested an MRI. Mom was scared and did not get it done, instead she took her medicine.
But two days later, the problem became worse. We went to a neurologist first thing in the morning. When the doctor asked Mom for her name, she could not give an answer. The doctor admitted her there and then as an emergency case. A CT scan of the brain revealed a clot. She was immediately started on medicines and was better by evening. It was only by Guruji's grace that we were able to find a good doctor and start Mom on therapy. The doctors said it would take six months to a year for her memory to be normal. But we knew Guruji's langar would cure her far sooner than that.
Two days later, there was a satsang near our house. I wanted to get
jal prasad for mom, but was unable to go. In the evening, a devotee called up to say that she had a bottle of jal prasad for us. What more could I ask for?
A few days later, with relatives arriving and attending to mom in the hospital, I got some free time to go home. But I opted to go for a satsang. And a day after the satsang, the miracle occurred: Mom was not only discharged from hospital but her memory also returned to normal. She was able to remember everything. From the hospital, we headed straight to a satsang to thank Guruji.
We have to face our karmas, but faith and total surrender helps us sail through it all very comfortably. Had it not been for Guruji's grace, nobody knows how things would have been with Mom. We can never know how He takes us by the hand and helps us walk through our negative karmas. Guruji's fragrance in our house the night before Mom lost her memory was a message from Guruji that He knew what was going to come and that He would take care of it. On Guruji's birthday, while I was sitting in front of Him, He told me to ask for anything that I wanted. And I said that you know everything and I may ask for something small, while you may have some bigger blessings in store for me. What could I have asked for which would have been more than His blessings that cured my mother. So, "
maango mat, bas manno" and Guruji will make sure that we get what is best for us at the right time.
Another instance of Guruji's healing occurred with me. I was feeling low as I was not able to go for a satsang because of pain in the legs. I prayed to Guruji to at least allow me to come to Him. I began reading satsangs online on GurujiMaharaj.com and began to feel better. I wanted to visit Bade Mandir the next day, which was a Monday, but was not in a condition to drive. A moment later, I got a message from a lady devotee, asking me if I wanted to come along to Bade Mandir the next day in her car. I was overwhelmed that Guruji had instantly heard my prayer.
Once I reached Bade Mandir, the pain in the legs was also gone.
Guruji has thus always been taking care of my wishes and predicaments, whether they be small or big.
My friends and I had gone out of town to Cochin to attend a wedding. We went a bit early so that we could roam around, and our return ticket was not confirmed. During the wedding, we didn't get time to confirm our return tickets. We thought we would talk to the airport authority directly. On the day of our return, we went in to the airport, but had no tickets. One of my friends badgered the airlines customer service desk to let us in. But they asked us to talk to the head of their department. They said she would come around by 7:30pm.
As soon as I found myself in this predicament, I began my earnest requests to Guruji. I wanted to go back home in the flight, I told Guruij, and I believed that with His grace a miracle could come to pass. As I was praying thus, a lady came out from near the boarding-pass desk and Guruji told me that she was the lady head and I should talk to her. I asked my friend to do so and when he doubted my directive, I told him it was based on my intuition. He went and talked to her and she told us to wait till around 7:30.
We waited and at 7 she came outside and I told my friend go and talk to her again. He went and this time within a minute she had okayed our boarding passes. The moment we got our passes, I proudly told my friends that there was no one who could have got us these tickets; this was Guruji's divine handiwork.
Guruji not only protects us from unforeseen troubles, He even fulfills our whimsies. Once I had a sudden urge to have alcohol and asked Guruji for permission to drink it. It was a dry day too. We could find no liquor. My friend searched for it without luck, and I gave in to Guruji's wish. If He didn't want me to, I wouldn't drink. But my friend searched again and found the liquor.
Yet another night, I was playing a game on my cell phone. I got stuck in one round and couldn't proceed further. I instantly asked Guruji to help me. When I replayed that round, I finished it easily. I kept my cell aside and thanked Guruji for helping me in such a trivial matter. He explained to me that
just as He had come to my assistance in one call, so was He there to always help us in our life at any time. I asked for His help at 3am and He helped me within seconds. We just need to do our bit first and then if we face any problem, Guruji will definitely help us through it.
Thank you, Guruji, for taking me under your refuge. You are my maalik, my
prabhu, my all. I am a beggar in your court, my Lord, I have no standing. I am entirely dependent on your mercy.
I have written in accordance with your wishes. Please forgive me if I have been remiss.
We pray that you continue to shower divine blessings on the sangat.
[Following section added September 2022]
Guruji's plans for devotees are far better than theirs
My father had been expecting payment from a government department for several months. We had been trying hard to get this sum, but to no avail. Then came a Monday of March 2020 when I attended two satsangs. During that holy time, I got confirmation of the payment via email. And in time, too: A week later the country went into a Covid lockdown and our work suffered.
A year went by and my father's business closed while I did not get much work. Finances were so tight that we were unable to pay our house rent. Our hope lay with a commercial property, jointly owned, that was tied up in a dispute. Try as we might, we could not sell it.
In 2021, on July 6
th, a family member came to us and helped us as regards selling this property. This relative suggested we should use the money we got from the property to buy a house. We had nothing, so buying a house was a very far-fetched dream. A day later, on July 7
th, we visited Bade Mandir to get Guruji's blessings on the sacred and festive occasion of the day He was born to uplift humanity and lessen its sorrows.
Soon we were able to sell the disputed property. Guruji blessed us with a new house in the Chattarpur area. We had lived in six rented houses before moving to number seven—our very own house.
Words cannot describe His
leela or sport, and we cannot thank Him enough for all His blessings. From being unable to pay the monthly rent to owning our own house in Delhi, that too in Chattarpur, was an unbelievable turn of events. But with Guruji's grace everything is possible.
Rohan Jain, a devotee
September 2022