Someone had told us to visit a Shivlinga near Bhatti Mines. We kept driving and asking for directions to the Shivlinga till we were guided to the Bade Mandir. I was immediately attracted to the temple with its white marble premises and its clean environs. It looked like paradise and radiated a divine grandeur and aura, offering absolute peace. We saw Guruji's
chola and His room. We were offered
samosa and chai, but were ignorant that this was
prasad. I had my brother consume the prasad after having a sip of tea because since childhood I'd be nauseated and throw up when
sweet prasad was given to me in temples.
This visit came about in December 2013—after we had lost our father to cancer in 2012—but we could only connect to Guruji later, when our mother's health hit rock bottom. In 2016, my mother had an acute urinary tract infection. Her sodium levels dropped and she was totally paralysed after having multiple brain haemorrhages. At that time my brother attended a few
satsangs and prayed for her.
Towards the end of June 2017, I went to the Kashi Vishwanath Jyotirlinga to pray for our mother's liberation. My prayer was granted, and mother passed away on 13
th August 2017. In retrospect, it was Guruji's blessing in disguise. However, I was broken hearted. My mother was my best friend and soul mate. She was a devotee of Lord Shiva, Hanumanji and Durga Maa and had initiated me into their worship.
Some time after her demise as I lay sleeping one day, a voice spoke to me in my sleep: "
Mere kol aaye nahin?" It was Guruji. In obedience, I went to the Mandir. I got a separate plate for
langar and felt Guruji knew of my problem with temple food. I consumed it with gratitude and peace came to me. We also obtained Guruji's
swaroops and His
charan as His blessings. Guruji even guided us to a shop where we could get these framed. Since that day I have been cured of my after-prasad nausea and can easily partake of langar. I believe Bade Mandir blessings are very important and we all must seek them.
I also went to Dugri Mandir. A day before Guruji's
Mahasamadhi day in 2019, I was having lunch with colleagues at an office where I saw Guruji's swaroop. We began talking about Guruji and Dugri Mandir was mentioned. I wanted to go and my prayer was granted: A colleague offered to take me along with his family by car.
A month later, on 26
th April 2019, we did our first satsang at home. I prayed to Guruji that He arrange that the
sangat, around 30-odd people consisting of neighbours and other devotees, be comfortably cool. Soon we had obtained a two-tonne air conditioner for the day! We have now set apart Guruji's
asana in our house for satsangs, which we do simply at home with Guruji, who is part of our family. It grants us much peace.
In April and May of 2021, my brother and I were infected with Covid19 even though we were fully vaccinated. It was a traumatic experience. Guruji stood by my brother whose oxygen levels fell along with mine. Through His grace, we obtained an oxygen concentrator in time and a devotee even brought us meals since we had no help at home. We fought our way out of the disease thanks to Guruji's grace. My brother and I share a very strong bond with Guruji's grace, even though we have differences of opinion.
Though I first had Guruji's
darshan in a house in Gurgaon in 2010, and we had attended a few satsangs, Guruji's
mahima surprisingly never revealed to us nor was the lore of the blessings inherent in prasad and langar. Yet my connection with Guruji is now deep and strong. Guruji guides me in my daily devotions. I read the Shiva Purana, an
ashtapadi (eight stanzas) of the Sukhmani Sahib, a recitation of the Chaupai Sahib as well as the first
pauri (literally, first step of the staircase) of Japji Sahib. Add to that a sacred reading of the Rehras Sahib.
Guruji also guides me with His presence in dreams. One day I realized that I had never sighted Guruji's charan in a big swaroop at home before which I bowed. It was hidden by a family photo in front. In a dream, I saw Guruji directing me to remove the photo hiding His lotus feet. I did so.
Guruji is the light energy that is guiding me in my spiritual journey. I have made it a discipline to hear satsangs, and note down their highlights, daily. I have also read Light of Divinity, Divya Abha, and Surcharged with Divine Love and listened to Guruji's blessed
gurbani shabads. I have been engrossed with the character sketches of
mahapurushs such as Adi Guru Shankarcharya, Anandamayee Maa and the divine masters—Babaji, Lahiri Mahasaya, Shri Yogananda, Shri Sivananda Saraswati—who are written about in Sri Paramhansa Yogananada's Autobiography of a Yogi. I have since understood that it is the duty of every human being to move towards divine bliss. As Guruji used to say, '
asi kalyaan karan vaaste aayain hein'. (I have come to liberate humanity.) The journey with Guruji is endless; He is all forms in one as
Ek Onkaar even as He is my mother and father.
Guruji always tells me to live humbly and simply. Guruji's real wealth is the
mantra jaap and my connection with Him. I have learnt how to visualize Him and pray to Him and also never ask for anything. The real blessing is to remain in His
hukm.
When we lead our lives as per His will, Guruji automatically removes negative people from our life—but one must learn to forego ego and anger. Guruji has taught me that one must learn to clear the inner self to receive His blessings and this can be done by loving Guruji in each and every act. To think positively, to have compassion for others, to learn not to criticize others and learn to become a good human is the gift we can give our Guru. We will make our Guruji proud when they look up to us as Guruji's
bhakta.
Guruji listens to everything we think, but gives us what is good for us. One day I was thinking that I did not have Guru Nanak Devji's swaroop. We had some people come asking for charity for a Gurudwara in Haridwar and they left us with Guru Nanak's swaroop.
I want to thank Guruji for showing us the light and keeping us at His Divine Lotus Feet. I am deeply indebted to Guruji for His Blessings Always. As His disciples we are so impure, yet He accepts us as we are. It is fully His grace.
Sabina Vivek Suri, a devotee
August 2021