When Guruji holds a heart close to His own

Timsi and Nitin, December 2020
Our son was born prematurely at 33 weeks and 2 days. At birth, he weighed a mere 1.5 kg (3.3 lbs) and had multiple congenital issues, including two holes in his heart (an atrial septal defect or ASD and a ventral septal defect, VSD) as well as narrowing of the artery that pumps blood from the heart to rest of the body (coarctation). Surgery corrected the coarctation (despite a one in hundred chance of success) when he was only a month old, but he became ventilator dependent. He was trained to breathe on his own for five months, but the twin holes in the heart were still present. He finally fought through–at odds of 1 in 20 million or worse–and we got to hold him in our arms for the first time at five months of age. It was the Christmas of 2010, and we had named him Aarjun.

Our son had ongoing check-ups since and in one such, we were informed that the atrial defect had closed on its own when he was 6 months old. We did not know who to thank though; now looking back, we know without a doubt that Guruji was behind it.

While the ASD closed, the hole in the ventricles led to a high pressure gradient (more blood passed from the left to right ventricle). Consequently, our son's baseline heart rate continued to be faster than other kids'. Doctors consulted around the globe gave the same verdict: VSD doesn't close on its own and, at that gradient, the chances that it would do so were none. Intervention would be required at some point.

Then, about a couple of years ago, at one of the check-ups the gradient reduced by half, to 20%.

Years passed till the last year when we could see the divine manifesting in our lives. By this time, we had begun to do satsang every Thursday in our home. Every time I would see heart-shaped likenesses in items I'd make for langar prasad—be it a poori, a roti, a paratha or even uttapam—I kept asking myself what His message was. Was the fact that I saw the images on not the first but the second issue of every item an indication of the second, VSD hole in our child's heart? Doctors made it clear it was impossible for the second hole to close, and we had made our peace with it. But what is impossible?

On June 26th 2020, my husband took my son for another regular check-up to a new cardiologist. As the cardiologist performed an electrocardiogram and an ultrasound, he found no hole. My husband asked the doctor to check again—no hole. He requested a third check. At that point, the cardiologist showed my husband the ultrasound and pointed to areas where the holes normally are and challenged my husband to find one. The impossible had become possible! It was an unforgettable meeting, which ended with the cardiologist putting a device on my son's chest to measure his heart's performance and record a baseline of the heart's functions, its heart rate and patterns.

When we returned the device a week later, another surprising event occurred. A nurse informed us that Aarjun's baseline was good, his heart rate was within the normal ranges, and the readings were unremarkable. He had a normal functioning heart. In fact, his resting heart rate was as good as that of an adult athlete.

We have heard numerous times that science and reasoning fail in His presence. When He takes over nothing else matters. What people might tell you in terms of reason and logic will never hold true once you learn the art of surrendering at His Lotus Feet. We have seen it first-hand. We have experienced it repeatedly and will be indebted to Him for blessing us with such a beautiful life. Guruji's leela is without compare. He can love you and grace with you His presence so much.

Our literal admission to His durbar may only be two years old, but it feels like we have known Him for seven lifetimes already. When we saw Him the first time, we were awestruck by His aura and have never looked back since. We have never been able to ask Him any question because every time we look at His radiant face, we are left speechless. We truly believe He commands our lives, our household and every little movement daily.

If we are completely honest, we feel the vital reason for all this is our son: He is the key link because of the way he connects with Guruji. We don't think we would ever be able to understand what he has going on with Guruji; it is extremely special. He is only nine now and all he wants to do is listen to the shabads and sit in His room watching and talking to Him. We are mere managers in his life, the Director and Chairman is the sole Almighty!

No amount of thank-yous can ever be enough for Guruji's love and we can't do without Him; we don't have it in us. He keeps giving us and we keep receiving. That's all we can do. But we want to let Him know that we love him a lot and promise Him to try and be better persons (in actions and thoughts), following His commandments, and keeping them close to our hearts.

Timsi and Nitin, devotees

December 2020