Page 348 - Light of Divinity
P. 348
Light of Divinity
I do not know whether I have surrendered completely to him
or not. Do I doubt him or do I love him unconditionally without
holding back? I do not know what love is. All I know is that ever
since I have met him, I want to feel his divine presence. What more
can I ask for? May the love for Guruji always bloom in our hearts.
No matter what happens, I should be able to reach him. All I pray
for is that he please help me build my karma in such a way that I
can feel his presence all the time. That’s how I want to be with my
master. The more I see him, the more I feel the thirst; and to quench
this thirst, one life is not enough. The soul has an undying hunger
and thirst that only my master can take care of.
I always used to worry about what would happen to my daughters,
who are still minors, if something happened to me. Even that has
been taken care of. More than me, my daughters feel secure with
Guruji, and the love which I and their father were not able to give
the girls have received from Guruji and Guruji’s sangat. This is bliss
to me. What is moksha I do not know. Having his divine darshan is
moksha.
This is just the beginning of my journey where the path is
unknown yet exciting, but the goal is to reach the divine.
At times Guruji would glance at me and say your Allah could not
heal you; what Guru has done no one could have done. During these
times, I would just look at him dumbstruck wanting to utter but
unable to even nod my head, not knowing what to say. Today, I feel
no one but Allah could have said this. Very gradually, I have realized
that he is the super energy of which we are a part. At different times
in different forms he has been descending on this earth to save
mankind and free them from suffering. You may call him Allah, Ram
or Guru Nanak. I wish I could reach that state of mind where only
he exists; may I be attached to his lotus feet forever. The love of the
guru should be so strong that nothing comes in between me and
my guru. Like a true devotee I should appreciate whatever he does,
because he has given us whatever we require. We are too small to do
anything for him; all we can do is to appreciate and thank him and
keep thanking him for the rest of our lives. May he always forgive us
for whatever sins we may commit. We are human and we are bound
to make mistakes; so, Guruji, please keep us away from temptation
and may our devotion to you keep on increasing till our last breath.
After that we will need you even more. We are fortunate to be in
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